Hey, didn't we just do this a week ago? Yes, we did, when Iowa officially signed their 2012 football recruiting class. And normally in the press-phobic world of Punxsutawney Phil Kirk that would mean six more weeks of no news until spring football starts up. But in case you've been living under a rock for the last few months, there's been a bit more turmoil than we're used to on the Iowa coaching staff. Norm Parker's departure wasn't exactly surprising, but Rick Kaczenski and Ken O'Keefe? Yeah, we weren't expecting those. So we've found ourselves in the throes of the biggest football coaching searches at Iowa since Ferentz himself landed here in 1999.
Thanks to the press release from Iowa last night, we know a little bit about the new-look staff: Phil Parker replaces Norm Parker at defensive coordinator, while Darrell Wilson replaces Phil Parker at defensive backs coach and Reese Morgan replaces Rick Kaczenski at defensive line coach. Ferentz has scheduled a presser today at 4pm CT, likely to discuss those moves. He may also discuss the impending moves on offense and the transfers of Messrs. Derby, Coker, and McCall in January. Or not, per Mas Casa.
In terms of coverage, we'll provide updates here and it looks like it should be streaming on KCRG's website and on the radio on KXNO in the Des Moines area. Not sure about other coverage options.
And hey, look at it this way: it's still better than having a press conference about a goddamn rhabdo outbreak.
0 recs | 579 comments
Why do you tempt the gods Ross?
Now just watch, Biff Poggi will walk out there to answer questions
HoyaGoon - February 8, 2012
That would be OK, actually. Biff would probably let loose with some real answers...
YouCanPutYourEddsInIt - February 8, 2012
it's so sadly true that these are the kinds of comparisons we have to use
i’m so fucking sick of this deflating sinking 2:30 feeling with Iowa football. It’s like a bad commercial cosponsored by head-on and 5 hour energy.
sailorjerry - February 8, 2012
You just gave me a great idea.
Head-on Energy! Too tired to open a bottle? Just place Head-on Energy! at your desk. When you fall asleep, your head hits the delivery device and BOOMO! Instant Energy! Also works for truck drivers (put it on your steering wheel!), secretaries (put it on the copier!), and busy moms (glue it to your kid!)*
Not yet (or ever) FDA approved…
TwistConePlease - February 8, 2012
Disclaimer: Head-On ENERGY! is not to be used as pure cocaine substitute.
Check your local WalGreen’s for availability.
Eyeheartfreedumb - February 8, 2012
WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!
Sorry. Carry on.
Blackheartnopants - February 8, 2012 via Android app
I still have no idea why you guys like watching these things
He never ever says anything even remotely interesting. I’m pretty sure I could almost give you his answer to every question verbatim by now.
NorseHawk - February 8, 2012
I'm listening,
Thank you.
mikjones24 - February 8, 2012
I agree with this.
But maybe he’ll surprise us?
Raylan - February 8, 2012
It's like an old sitcom episode
we like the characters, and even though we know the plot and how it’s going to end, the remote is 6 inches out of reach and we’re way to lazy to get up to see if anything better is one.
chitownhawkeye - February 8, 2012
KF presser:THE OFFICE::Fran presser:PARKS & REC::Brands presser:COMMUNITY
RossWB - February 8, 2012
I was thinking KF was more like MASH
then I though about the RB situation as a military hot zone hospital and I had a sad.
chitownhawkeye - February 8, 2012
That's the exact reason I stopped watching the Kirk Ferentz show on BTN
Same interview with Dolph regardless of the game result, same look forward to next week’s opponent, same commercials for corn/beans/weedkillers. Yawn.
GaryDolphinSafeTuna - February 8, 2012
Am I the only one with no interest in watching G'town-Syracuse or UNC-Duke tonight?
Probably.
RossWB - February 8, 2012
YOU SHUT YOUR WHORE MOUTH!
In re the Gtown-Cuse game. Evil (Jim Boeheim) must ALWAYS be opposed
HoyaGoon - February 8, 2012
I thought you might disagree with me.
Heh.
I have no dog in either fight, although I’m always happy to root for Duke to lose.
RossWB - February 8, 2012
I'm not going to pretend that even I can muster much enthusiasm for Gtown-Providence or Gtown-USF
but I loathe with every fiber in my being Syracuse and Boeheim
HoyaGoon - February 8, 2012
Yeah but Georgetown basketball is super fucking boring
NorseHawk - February 8, 2012
Yes, winning sucks
so does going to the NCAAs every year
HoyaGoon - February 8, 2012
it's soooo fucking slow though
I’m sure it’s fine for fans as long as their winning, but it is no fun to watch from the outside. If get enough of that shit in the Big Ten.
Basically I want the Princeton offense to be outlawed.
NorseHawk - February 8, 2012
What are you talking about?
Georgetown and it’s “slow” offense averages all of 3 points per game less than Iowa.
HoyaGoon - February 8, 2012
Their pace is way slower, they just score more efficiently
NorseHawk - February 8, 2012
Pace isn't really that slow
the good thing about the Princeton offense is that it is adaptable to what your opponents try to do defensively. The real issue is that a lot of Big East teams just play absolutely brutal, thuggish defense
HoyaGoon - February 8, 2012
No, it is demonstrably slow
Not, like Wisconsin slow, but they’re 240th in the country in Tempo or something like that, according to Ken Pom. The defense thing is probably true to some extent, but those numbers are inflated by lots of teams in the conference playing a slow tempo. The same thing happens in the Big Ten. Like Wisconsin for years would have bad defenses and great offenses on a per possession basis, but everyone assumed the opposite about them because they played ungodly slow and the final scores were low (interestingly, this year the popular perception of them is actually backed up by the numbers)
NorseHawk - February 8, 2012
Can Princeton's basketball team get grandfathered in though?
I mean, they don’t have to run it, but it only seems fair to give them the choice.
Eyeheartfreedumb - February 8, 2012
Princeton offense? OUTLAWED?!
See you Thursday night :)
MNWildcat - February 8, 2012
UR OUTLAWED
RossWB - February 8, 2012
Dammit.
Touche, good sir.
MNWildcat - February 8, 2012
This post made me confused and angry.
Then I saw who wrote it. It’s ok. You’re a Hoya. You don’t know any better.
I’m gonna go home, put on a whole lot of orange, and get my cheer on. Long live Jimmy Boeheim!!!
HawkeyeInExile - February 8, 2012
You two should fight.
To save us from the impending boredom of this presser.
RossWB - February 8, 2012
Shouldn't you be busy concocting excuses
for why it’s perfectly ok for your players’ to beat their girlfriends?
HoyaGoon - February 8, 2012
Oooooooh, fighting words
But seriously, they have to have some good excuses by now…
Hawkeyes - February 8, 2012
They've had 25+ years of instances
to work on them
HoyaGoon - February 8, 2012
Meh.
It’s roughly the same as having a murderous drug lord procuring your recruits.
WaterlooChazz - February 8, 2012
Huh?
HoyaGoon - February 8, 2012
He's saying Syracuse recruits thugs.
HawkeyeInExile - February 8, 2012
No.
In that movie, the main character (kid in white shirt) was going to go to Georgetown.
WaterlooChazz - February 8, 2012
Because movies are real life
HoyaGoon - February 8, 2012
My mistake.
But yeah, we recruit thugs.
HawkeyeInExile - February 8, 2012
Some of the players are genuine terds
And you can say what you want about those who’ve committed crimes. But Boeheim is a great coach.
HawkeyeInExile - February 8, 2012
This is gonna be a one sided fight
I’m a Hawk first and an Orangeman second, alumni status be damned. It’s been a long time since I left that campus with both middle fingers blazing at my rear view. I don’t even know what you’re talking about.
HawkeyeInExile - February 8, 2012
Seconded
Blackheartnopants - February 8, 2012 via Android app
I wish we had a real basketball rival
mikjones24 - February 8, 2012
Yeah, who is our b-ball rival?
ISU? Illinois?
RossWB - February 8, 2012
I used to think it was Indiana
Now it’s probably Illinois, although I think they hate us way more than we hate them. And yeah, ISU I guess, although it doesn’t have the heat of the football game.
NorseHawk - February 8, 2012
I think the problem is that the Iowa basketball fanbase is so apathetic right now
And has been for several years. We need to get charged up for our own team before we can get our hate on for someone else.
RossWB - February 8, 2012
How about Nebraska?
I hate them normally, and they’re bad at basketball.
We lost to them already? FUKSDFLGHJLJKA
chitownhawkeye - February 8, 2012
Nebraksa football is The Worst
I have a hard time getting fired up about their basketball team
NorseHawk - February 8, 2012
Nobody brings out hate from Hawkeye fans
like the mighty UNI Panthers.
WaterlooChazz - February 8, 2012
Except we focus our ire on the refs.
RossWB - February 8, 2012
STRAIGHT CASH HOMIE
mikjones24 - February 8, 2012
Iowa
Bucketochicken - February 8, 2012
Also
I can’t get over the fact that the same HS team had Harrison Barnes and Doug McDermott. Did they lose any games?
RossWB - February 8, 2012
Not really
I know they were undefeated in their senior year, and I don’t think they lost at all as juniors either.
The craziest thing is that all the people who used to tell me that McDermott was actually the best player on that team might have been right.
NorseHawk - February 8, 2012
Yeah, I remember they won two state titles.
I just can’t imagine many teams in Iowa even coming close to challenging them.
1 future D-I star is usually enough to guarantee a state title in Iowa, having 2 is just unfair.
RossWB - February 8, 2012
Also, I have no idea what's up with the FanPosts.
RossWB - February 8, 2012
i was going to ask about that
then i realized that i more important stuff to worry about
White Lightning - February 8, 2012
"realized that I have more important stuff to worry about"
I haz bad typing
White Lightning - February 8, 2012
The letter Z makes you wonder why there'z a letter S
mikjones24 - February 8, 2012
It seems like SBN is having a bunch of technical issues right now
Lately I almost never get a page to load correctly the first time.
NorseHawk - February 8, 2012
Must be all the porn they have backed up on the server
mikjones24 - February 8, 2012
Hey, we're not Gawker.
RossWB - February 8, 2012
Yeah, there are Issues.
Teh hackorz have been slamming SBN of late, I guess, which was the reason for the outage this morning. I’m not sure what’s behind the smaller issues, like the FanPosts thing.
RossWB - February 8, 2012
teh hackorz
must have the boreds. I can’t imagine any other reason to knock out a group of sports sites on a Wednesday.
chitownhawkeye - February 8, 2012
I guess it means we're BIG TIME.
RossWB - February 8, 2012
Kim Dotcom
hates the Hawkeyes.
WaterlooChazz - February 8, 2012
THE MOTHERSHIP IS COMING AFTER JACOBI!
Eyeheartfreedumb - February 8, 2012
Well, if Anonymous is after you, it must mean you've hit the big time.
hkobb7 - February 8, 2012
PRESSER STREAM
Courtesy, KXNO
RossWB - February 8, 2012
God I hate Jim Rome
So unpleasant to come in on. Ed Wilson, you are the baritone salve on my eardrums.
Hawkeyes - February 8, 2012
My new fridge has a sabbath mode
I don’t know why…but that’s so funny.
mikjones24 - February 8, 2012
I wish it had a Black Sabbath mode.
RossWB - February 8, 2012
Heaven mode and Hell mode.
Smokin Herb Grigsby - February 8, 2012 via mobile
Does it disable the light bulb?
A strict observation of the sabbath means Jews can’t turn lights on or off from sundown Friday to sundown Saturday. As a result, a lot of them will unscrew the light bulb in their fridge so they can stil open and close it. A Sabbath mode would save them the trouble.
Flakbait - February 8, 2012
I learned something new today
with that comment. I can go home now.
Captain America (aka Steve Rogers) - February 8, 2012
And I was inspired to listen to Heaven & Hell
so we both won!
Flakbait - February 8, 2012
And yet, they
can fill up a cup of ice from the dispenser on the fridge?
/yeah, I realize they’re probably just grabbing some food.
WaterlooChazz - February 8, 2012
I don't think that would be allowed
Flakbait - February 8, 2012
No ice
in your drink is un-American.
Captain America (aka Steve Rogers) - February 8, 2012
Yeah it disables everything except the refrigeration
mikjones24 - February 8, 2012
I... AM... FREON MAN
Bucketochicken - February 8, 2012
So, they usually have the Iowa fight song playing during the pre-pressers
on the Hawkeye All-Access site. The music they have playing is a little too “brown chicken brown cow” for my taste. At least the current music is slightly better than the last song they were playing though.
Captain n Diet Coker - February 8, 2012
Any KCRG stream? I don't see it advertised on the site, but....
nhradar - February 8, 2012
just google "kcrg stream"
not sure if i can post the link or not here
Duez I say - February 8, 2012
And, it's just a terrible job of promotion
http://www.kcrg.com/streaming
nhradar - February 8, 2012
Florida State is leading the ACC?
lolwut
RossWB - February 8, 2012
They did beat UNC and Duke.
WaterlooChazz - February 8, 2012
Here we go
Captain n Diet Coker - February 8, 2012
Thanks KOK for all his work at Iowa
RossWB - February 8, 2012
Drink when he says "tremendous"
Duez I say - February 8, 2012
Or "certainly"
I’m sure there will be plenty of those
Duez I say - February 8, 2012
Tremendous count: 2 in the first minute
This might be a record.
Captain n Diet Coker - February 8, 2012
we've hit the over
nhradar - February 8, 2012
DRINK
mikjones24 - February 8, 2012
Lots of options for DC, external and internal
Thought PP was best fit.
RossWB - February 8, 2012
See, i could have done this for you guys and saved everyone the time
NorseHawk - February 8, 2012
Read: accepted the job
after I offered it to, and was rejected by, at least one other person
HoyaGoon - February 8, 2012
See this is what happens
He says absolutely nothing because he hates the media, and you guys read some shit into it and go nuts
NorseHawk - February 8, 2012
its his own fault
he waited 2 months to promote a guy!, of course others are going to read into that
justsomehawkeyefan - February 8, 2012
Phil is "best fit for program right now"
Hawkeyes - February 8, 2012
The hangman game from the other thread is uncanny.
nhradar - February 8, 2012
Says PP had an offer to be a DC at a top-10 program
Probably means Florida St
RossWB - February 8, 2012
said two BCS teams total. one of them top ten
tremendous
SaturdayMorningKegStanzis - February 8, 2012
RLLY?
Never heard that.
mikjones24 - February 8, 2012
Yeah that came up three or four years ago I think
I remember reading a lot about it at the time. That’s part of the reason I’ve expected him to get the job from the start. He wouldn’t have turned stuff like that down if he didn’t know he was the heir apparent here.
NorseHawk - February 8, 2012
He was definitely offered the Mizzou DC job before
What the other one is, I have no idea.
Captain n Diet Coker - February 8, 2012
Almost positive it was FSU
That’s the only name I remember him linked to. Mizzou makes sense though, since he’s worked with Pinkel before.
NorseHawk - February 8, 2012
I think Pat's mentioned the FSU thing before
RossWB - February 8, 2012
That ended up going to Mark Stoops, right?
Captain n Diet Coker - February 8, 2012
Yeah
RossWB - February 8, 2012
fuck mizzou
RossWB - February 8, 2012
"great job with special teams"
U LIE
RossWB - February 8, 2012
Moving Wilson to DB allows PP to "roam" more and cover all areas of defense
RossWB - February 8, 2012
We're implementing the New Mexico "Lobo" defense?
Hawkeyes - February 8, 2012
So many greats.
RossWB - February 8, 2012
Talking up Morgan turning nobodies into NFL draft picks
RossWB - February 8, 2012
he used the word "nobodies"?
thats kind of mean
justsomehawkeyefan - February 8, 2012
Well,
we don’t tend to improve our highly-rated guys much (perhaps outside of Bulaga and Steinbach).
WaterlooChazz - February 8, 2012
For having approximately 2,385 knees surgeries
Dace turned out pretty well
HoyaGoon - February 8, 2012
Dace gave it his all.
Doering didn’t really pan out. Or Felder. Or Larsen. I feel like I could go on.
WaterlooChazz - February 8, 2012
Or Tyler Blum (I suppose he wasn't an OL, but whatevs).
WaterlooChazz - February 8, 2012
It's a selection bias
You remember the highly-rated recruits that don’t pan out because there is a much smaller number of highly-rated guys in the first place. You remember the Dallas Clarks and Bob Sandersess but forget the boatload of other 1/2 star players who never amounted to anything
HoyaGoon - February 8, 2012
Nah.
We just don’t turn a majority of highly-rated guys into great players.
We do better on the OL with guys who are hungry and get better over time.
WaterlooChazz - February 8, 2012
No, that's just not the case
see the recent fanpost about this very topic.
HoyaGoon - February 8, 2012
Give it up.
tyger1147 - February 8, 2012
Doering got injured...a lot. Larsen didnt have the focus. Not really sure about Felder.
Hawkeyes - February 8, 2012
No, that was shorthand on my part.
Guys like Zusevics, etc. who weren’t big-time recruits is what I meant.
RossWB - February 8, 2012
Said they flipped OL guy to DL last time
(Kaz was OL GA)
RossWB - February 8, 2012
3 more spots to fill
Getting right people more important than calendar
RossWB - February 8, 2012
time frame not critical to decision
SaturdayMorningKegStanzis - February 8, 2012
Oh dear god
this is going to last until September 1st. That’s the deadline he set.
Captain n Diet Coker - February 8, 2012
Not that it will
But he seems pretty nonchalant about the urgency
Captain n Diet Coker - February 8, 2012
KF: College football's greatest Troll
Hawkeyes - February 8, 2012
Good thing he's such an expert at clock management
HoyaGoon - February 8, 2012
What's the HR equivalent of taking a knee?
Notclevr - February 8, 2012
Outsourcing?
SomeJerkPoster - February 8, 2012
Not as much fun to lose a bowl game.
RossWB - February 8, 2012
Thank goodness for that insight
chitownhawkeye - February 8, 2012
I see what you did there.
Unless you didn’t mean to.
WaterlooChazz - February 8, 2012
Off-season workouts going well
(subtext: NO RHABDO, YOU GUYS!)
RossWB - February 8, 2012
We'll take our victories when we can
Captain n Diet Coker - February 8, 2012
Not yet anyway
I keed, I keed
HoyaGoon - February 8, 2012
Interfacing with players.
I’m just waiting for “onboarding” of new recruits.
Hawkeyegirl - February 8, 2012
waterboarding?
Duez I say - February 8, 2012
Is that what kids do at the Res these days?
Hawkeyegirl - February 8, 2012
Hey, if they can't inflict rhabdo...
hkobb7 - February 8, 2012
All aboard!
sez Cap’n Kirk.
WaterlooChazz - February 8, 2012
Spring football schedule pushed back a week, apparently.
RossWB - February 8, 2012
Will make coordinators available before spring ball
Y’know, if we have an OC…
RossWB - February 8, 2012
Sounds like he wants the staff in place by spring practice?
mikjones24 - February 8, 2012
How surprised by KOK's departure?
Not surprised.
RossWB - February 8, 2012
He was openly looking for jobs last year, so yeah
NorseHawk - February 8, 2012
Ken's departure
Not a surprise at all
Hawkeyes - February 8, 2012
Assumed Philbin would contact KOK when he got Dolphins gig.
RossWB - February 8, 2012
No firm timetable for OC
Hawkeyes - February 8, 2012
If it's not done
before spring practice starts, I’m resigning my fandom
HoyaGoon - February 8, 2012
Well, Soup’s just sitting there. Really, Kirk just does shit like this to fuck with us.
txhawkeye - February 8, 2012
He's certainly fucking with somebody
and it very well could have been Phil Parker. If (and these are big assumptions) KF kept Parker from looking at other jobs by hinting that he’d get the DC position, than dragging it out was just being a prick to Parker. If the decision was made in December, than dragging it out was just fucking with the fans.
HoyaGoon - February 8, 2012
My vote: fucking with the fans.
txhawkeye - February 8, 2012
Probably
HoyaGoon - February 8, 2012
Not the fans, but more broadly, the outside world.
I think KF figures that he owes nothing to the press, to fans, to boosters (though he knows where his bread is buttered), or anyone else.
He is defiant when someone makes him do something (like talking about a subject he isn’t ready to address).
Eyeheartfreedumb - February 8, 2012
Can I have your Hawkeye stuff?
I’ll send you my address.
Hawkeyes - February 8, 2012
KOK's seat tough to fill
Lots of candy stains there.
RossWB - February 8, 2012
DC hiring has been a process
lulz
RossWB - February 8, 2012
New DC candidates kept appearing
RossWB - February 8, 2012
Because everyone with an X-box
thought they should e-mail in a resume’.
Fabio Capello is now available.
/Chazz winks at all the BHGP soccer fanatics.
WaterlooChazz - February 8, 2012
DC Position timeline
“Process” “No advantage to moving quickly”
Hawkeyes - February 8, 2012
Why do something on Day 1 that everyone assumes you're going to do
when you can do the exact same thing on Day 56?
HoyaGoon - February 8, 2012
KF is on fire
“No need to move quickly, burn scars aren’t guaranteed until they reach third degree”
Hawkeyes - February 8, 2012
Well his pants are, at least.
DrHenryKillinger - February 8, 2012
Compared job search to recruiting
Hiring is creepy’d
RossWB - February 8, 2012
That's a rec!
Lukateake - February 8, 2012
oh yeah
PSD - February 8, 2012
Could've made decision back in Deecmber for where we ended up
LOL U DON’T SAY
RossWB - February 8, 2012
Didn't think it mattered re: Signing Day/recruits
RossWB - February 8, 2012
He looked genuinely annoyed by the
“Did recruiting factor into your timetable for hires.”
SaturdayMorningKegStanzis - February 8, 2012
That's the wrong question
the correct question is “Should it have?”
chitownhawkeye - February 8, 2012
credit where its due
i dont think ferentz lost a single recruit once they gave their commitment. thats pretty awesome.
baring Kozan of course, who im not sure gave Iowa a commitment anyway (i think espn screwed up personally)
justsomehawkeyefan - February 8, 2012
I'm starting to think the same about Kozan.
WaterlooChazz - February 8, 2012
I think he has been pretty clear that his opinion on that is no
More important to get the right person in the job than to get someone there in a hurry. Recruits are far more expendable than Coaches for KF. PP better be good because the only factor in this decision was getting someone that would be good.
SaturdayMorningKegStanzis - February 8, 2012
Don't get me wrong
I agree with you, but it would be nice to see some urgency. It is possible to get the right guy and do it in a timely fashion.
chitownhawkeye - February 8, 2012
Yeah, it would be nice to do it both ways
SaturdayMorningKegStanzis - February 8, 2012
Especially when the 'right guy' uses the same urinals.
I think Parker is a good hire for DC.
Its too bad KF took two goddamn months to prove to the entire world that he wasn’t so convinced.
GODDAMN IT…..if only he would have hidden his choice better & called everyone ‘Jabronis’ then finished this press conference with the D-X ‘suck-it’ hand gesture, it would have been less embarrassing for all involved
DoYouLoveHawksorHate'Merica? - February 8, 2012
Likes the new internet meme, "Bradying"
Duez I say - February 8, 2012
what is this?
RossWB - February 8, 2012
Google it.
YouCanPutYourEddsInIt - February 8, 2012
Ah, that was my guess.
RossWB - February 8, 2012
NFL memes should all go away
Unless people start Jerome Simpson’ing. That would be hilarious/tragic.
YouCanPutYourEddsInIt - February 8, 2012
That would be great news for orthopedic surgeons all over the country.
RossWB - February 8, 2012
We told recruits we were going to have good coaches
Or in KOK’s instance, we told him he’d be there.
mikjones24 - February 8, 2012
Ooh, Hlas with the Morgan to DL question
Captain n Diet Coker - February 8, 2012
basically Morgan is a great coach
good at building up players. We need someone like that on the DL right now.
SaturdayMorningKegStanzis - February 8, 2012
Why move Morgan to DL?
“Critical position.” Interesting candidates. Morgan best fit.
Young group now. Liked how RM worked with young OL guys a few years ago. RM is a “builder,” “helps them develop in a positive way.”
RossWB - February 8, 2012
"Helps develop in a positive way"
Hmm, dig against Kaz?? Positive reinforcement was not his forte.
Captain n Diet Coker - February 8, 2012
I definitely think that's a dig on Kaz
Nickhawk08 - February 8, 2012
I actually think there's something to that
He was a high school coach forever, so he’s worked with young guys a lot before, and his demeanor is a big change of pace from Kaz, who seemed to be burning guys out a bit
NorseHawk - February 8, 2012
Well, Kaz was an a-hole
So there was that.
Notclevr - February 8, 2012
Morgan to DL came from KF
“executive privilege”
RossWB - February 8, 2012
"Executive privilege"
LOL.
mikjones24 - February 8, 2012
#FERENTZ2012
PSD - February 8, 2012
Seems like
he’s concerned about DL performance so went to someone he knew and trusted. KF can help out with OL.
Mr. Grizz - February 8, 2012
Yeah, DL is going to be WORK this year
Pretty much a whole new line.
Captain n Diet Coker - February 8, 2012
flexibility, re: QB coach
RossWB - February 8, 2012
With Phil, wasn't looking for carbon copy of NP
Not looking for carbon copy of KOK either (whew)
RossWB - February 8, 2012
these are just words
wait for the action
PSD - February 8, 2012
That's because even KF doesn't use carbon paper
he prefers the Xerox machine
Flakbait - February 8, 2012
I thought he had an entire monastary of scribes
making perfect copies
HoyaGoon - February 8, 2012
Eunuchs?
txhawkeye - February 8, 2012
Ditto machine?
He likes the blue ink
99playsNAblitzaint1 - February 8, 2012
Not playing 46 defense. Or 3-4.
RossWB - February 8, 2012
fingers crossed for 3-3-5!
RossWB - February 8, 2012
#GERG4IOWAOC!
HoyaGoon - February 8, 2012
/has a sad
RossWB - February 8, 2012
Not playing "Man" or "46" or Blitz every down or 34 defense
Outside of that “Open to anything”
Hawkeyes - February 8, 2012
Same "openness" for OC
Hawkeyes - February 8, 2012
Same "openness" for OC
Hawkeyes - February 8, 2012
So, none?
HoyaGoon - February 8, 2012
Power I and Single Wing both in play
Hawkeyes - February 8, 2012
I am totally behind that
Spinner & blocking back positions are back in play!
DoYouLoveHawksorHate'Merica? - February 8, 2012
Levar Woods still interim DL coach
Will go thru process.
RossWB - February 8, 2012
lol he's hired.
RossWB - February 8, 2012
"they'll find a spot for him"
PSD - February 8, 2012
OL?
QB? i dont know what hes good at
justsomehawkeyefan - February 8, 2012
linebacker
NorseHawk - February 8, 2012
Denies that moving Morgan had to do with opening something up on offense.
Had other options on defense for the DL coach.
RossWB - February 8, 2012
So many "processes" and "options!"
Kinnick Stadium is my Graceland - February 8, 2012
OC will probably also coach QBs
Hawkeyes - February 8, 2012
Envisions OC being OC/QB coach like KOK
Could see TE coach being OC
RossWB - February 8, 2012
Maybe the OC will coach tight ends
BRIAN FERENTZ 4 OC
mikjones24 - February 8, 2012
/HoyaGoon slits wrists
RossWB - February 8, 2012
What?
/looks up, woozily, as blood gushes all over desk
HoyaGoon - February 8, 2012
Real men go right for the carotid.
txhawkeye - February 8, 2012
As this will be the last action I ever undertake
I will thank you to let me decide on my own preferred method.
HoyaGoon - February 8, 2012
Real men charge the machine gun nest, save the rest of the squad.
Blackheartnopants - February 8, 2012 via Android app
If by "save the rest of the squad"
you mean by setting an example of what not to do, then yes.
Flakbait - February 8, 2012
Not ruling out internal candidates for OC
RossWB - February 8, 2012
Wilson will still be involved with ST
RossWB - February 8, 2012
/HoyaGoon slits wrists?
YouCanPutYourEddsInIt - February 8, 2012
I'm more in favor of this one
Wilson was handling ST during their glory years (2002-2004)
HoyaGoon - February 8, 2012
420
RossWB - February 8, 2012
*snort
PSD - February 8, 2012
Would love to get 10 years out of the new OC/DC
RossWB - February 8, 2012
So many words.
So little clarity.
Hawkeyegirl - February 8, 2012
a truly shocking turn of events
NorseHawk - February 8, 2012
Similarities to what's going on now w/ you to what happened w/ Hayden in late 80s?
RossWB - February 8, 2012
"get a new line coach and go to the Rose Bowl"
please oh please oh please oh please
RossWB - February 8, 2012
KF is trolling himself!
// new OL coach in 1990 took Iowa to the Rose Bowl
Lukateake - February 8, 2012
Ferentz proves he thinks Iowa's fortunes are all based on superstition
PSD - February 8, 2012
He knows all about AIRBHG.
RossWB - February 8, 2012
AIRBHG smiles and nods
SaturdayMorningKegStanzis - February 8, 2012
Maybe KOK will take AIRBHG with him?
I don’t think he existed until KOK came to town.
TwistConePlease - February 8, 2012
Ever see them both in the same room?
Think about it.
No, really. Think about it.
Seriously. Think about iOHMYGOD KOK IS TOTALLY AIRBHG!!!!!!!111
DoYouLoveHawksorHate'Merica? - February 8, 2012
Less healthy RBs only means
MOAR End-arounds!!!
/maniacal laugh.
WaterlooChazz - February 9, 2012
"invigorating" for Wilson and Morgan to be in new positions
RossWB - February 8, 2012
I bet
new challenges and all that
justsomehawkeyefan - February 8, 2012
to me this comment makes sense,
makes these guys more well-rounded as coaches
White Lightning - February 8, 2012
In due time...
Is the theme of this press conference.
mikjones24 - February 8, 2012
Yes
and “great” is the magic word
RossWB - February 8, 2012
"not a resume guy"
RossWB - February 8, 2012
Wait? Ferentz has the technology from Gattaca?
We do this off of DNA now?
HoyaGoon - February 8, 2012
Hooray for UIHC!
RossWB - February 8, 2012
Bodes well for Brian
Notclevr - February 8, 2012
He isn't interested in name brands
So…no one from Nebraska.
mikjones24 - February 8, 2012
We're shopping at ALDI, baby.
RossWB - February 8, 2012
Their food is much better these days
as long as their freezer didn’t crap out.
Flakbait - February 8, 2012
$3 bottles of win!
TwistConePlease - February 8, 2012
Fuck those guys.
txhawkeye - February 8, 2012
This is actually kind of funny,
he goes from self deprication, “someone will feel sorry for us”, to omens and subliminal messages. I think he’s excited.
Give Eddie a Beer - February 8, 2012
It is written.
This is where I’d have Ferentz-Slumdog Millionaire photoshop, if I could photoshop.
WaterlooChazz - February 8, 2012
"in a parking lot in Colorado"
hey there Alex Kozan
RossWB - February 8, 2012
Budget
“we’ll be fine” – snort
PSD - February 8, 2012
major snort
Like.. do you have any idea how much money.
SaturdayMorningKegStanzis - February 8, 2012
Budget? /snort!
Lukateake - February 8, 2012
"budget-wise we'll be fine"
not worried about it
“not going to try to sign a superstar coach”
RossWB - February 8, 2012
Kirk Ferentz just gave the loudest snort ever when asked about money
mikjones24 - February 8, 2012
When you're rolling with $3.5M dolla dollar bills
you can not care about budgets too!
HoyaGoon - February 8, 2012
Not looking for superstar coach, not needed
Hawkeyes - February 8, 2012
"I'd talk to Gary about it"
read: Gary does what I tell him
RossWB - February 8, 2012
HR process /SNORT
RossWB - February 8, 2012
SNOOOOOOOORRRRRTTTTTTTT
PSD - February 8, 2012
HR? /snort /snort /snort /snort
Lukateake - February 8, 2012
So many snorts
RossWB - February 8, 2012
Just listening to it
sounded like someone had a severe cold.
Mr. Grizz - February 8, 2012
I didn't know he was a snorter.
Hawkeyegirl - February 8, 2012
Where have you been? One of the best jokes here at BHGP!
Lukateake - February 8, 2012
/twirls finger
//chews gum
HoyaGoon - February 8, 2012
I have a job.
Hawkeyegirl - February 8, 2012
So do I
I just don’t let that get in the way of things
HoyaGoon - February 8, 2012
So do I.
And I’m good at it, too!
Lukateake - February 8, 2012
That's not what she said.
Hawkeyegirl - February 8, 2012
/TNWSS'ed
Lukateake - February 8, 2012
And some of us
don’t
Dip-Shit - February 9, 2012 via mobile
I believe he just snorted at all of us.
Hawkeyes - February 8, 2012
Maybe his nose is stuffed up.
RossWB - February 8, 2012
Polar plunged.
Hawkeyegirl - February 8, 2012
Hey don't go bringing logic into our fun and games now.
RossWB - February 8, 2012
I prefer to think he's just one hell of a coke fiend.
HawkeyeInExile - February 8, 2012
If so, he's really gonna miss KOKaine.
RossWB - February 8, 2012
So he's going through Coker withdrawal?
Hawkeyegirl - February 8, 2012
He is trolling so fucking hard right now
This shit is cray.
mikjones24 - February 8, 2012
Or he's transforming into a pig.
MANBEARPIG4IOWAOC
RossWB - February 8, 2012
Or he's transforming into a pig.
MANBEARPIG4IOWAOL
FTFY
Hawkeyes - February 8, 2012
open to anything
“what are the chances Brian comes back”
PSD - February 8, 2012
Ooh, Brian question
“We’re open to anything right now.” Then, “he’s got a pretty good job right now.”
Captain n Diet Coker - February 8, 2012
Brian question?
“We’re open to anything… He has a pretty good job right now… Could’ve done a little better… Has a pretty good job right now.”
RossWB - February 8, 2012
Yeah, he has a GREAT job right now
working for his old man
HoyaGoon - February 8, 2012
Bill Belichick is Brian Ferentz's true father?
ZOMG CALL MAURY
RossWB - February 8, 2012
This actually would not surprise me
Notclevr - February 8, 2012
Can we get a BHGP remix with all of the snorts?
YouCanPutYourEddsInIt - February 8, 2012
Confident we'll get a good hire
RossWB - February 8, 2012
It's gotta be Brian right?
PSD - February 8, 2012
I wouldn't be surprised, but I seriously think he's just fucking with you guys at this point
NorseHawk - February 8, 2012
Yeah, there wasn't even really an attempt at denial
Captain n Diet Coker - February 8, 2012
Ferentz with a subliminal TFJ to BHGB with the super snorts.
Give Eddie a Beer - February 8, 2012
I'm open to anything
(except the spread, two-minute offense, and good clock management… )
RossWB - February 8, 2012
Using timeouts, trick plays, fake punts/kicks....
HoyaGoon - February 8, 2012
Wait...you get three EACH HALF...?!?
YouCanPutYourEddsInIt - February 8, 2012
But if you save them up
you can redeem them at the end of the season for airline tickets
HoyaGoon - February 8, 2012
which he uses to flightaware troll the fanbase...
YouCanPutYourEddsInIt - February 8, 2012
Airline tickets are for losers. Kirk flies private
txhawkeye - February 8, 2012
to ship your underclassmen running backs off
to various ends of the country
lmlions21 - February 8, 2012
woah man we have run at least two fake kicks
I vividly remember Nate Kaeding scoring a TD and it fucking ruled.
NorseHawk - February 8, 2012
And Murray's epic fail of a fake FG in the Orange Bowl
DJK's bongwater - February 8, 2012
Gotta block
RossWB - February 8, 2012
and score more than the opponent
HEY!
PSD - February 8, 2012
This means putting the ball in the end zone, right?
Hawkeyes - February 8, 2012
How about tackling?
Gotta tackle, too, right?
chitownhawkeye - February 8, 2012
Lots of diff. styles can win in college
RossWB - February 8, 2012
Look at MNC game
They’re not winging it around. Do what they have to do. SINGLE WING OFFENSE HOORAY
Hawkeyes - February 8, 2012
More money questions
One school brought a new standard of pay… COUGHCOUGH OHIO STATE COUGHCOUGH
RossWB - February 8, 2012
SEC prices move north
Interesting quote.
mikjones24 - February 8, 2012
I'd have gone with
“We have enough funding here at Iowa. Not tattoo and Nissan money, but still. Snort.”
WaterlooChazz - February 8, 2012
talking about tOSU
SaturdayMorningKegStanzis - February 8, 2012
We don't need superstars.
Unlike a certain school that’s brought SEC prices to the B1G.
Hawkeyegirl - February 8, 2012
Would like to get things figured out by spring ball
Would like to get 2 spots settled in next 2 weeks
More flexible for other spot…
RossWB - February 8, 2012
"More flexible for the other spot" = "It will take Brian some time to get his house on the market"?
HoyaGoon - February 8, 2012
Want coaches in place by spring break
WHICH IS SIX WEEKS AWAY, SO DON’T GET TOO EXCITED
RossWB - February 8, 2012
wait a minute, there are 7 pages to the playbook?
i call bullshit
White Lightning - February 8, 2012
KOK took the 33 pages
of various end-arounds with him.
WaterlooChazz - February 8, 2012
Actually, it was one end-around play,
..but KOK drew 32 pages of a long line to show how far the split end would run after the handoff.
YouCanPutYourEddsInIt - February 8, 2012
Is that 32/1 scale?
i.e. 32 pages = 1 page of actual distance?
EnergizerHawk - February 8, 2012
7 pages=7 plays
odiE- - February 8, 2012
Tough for coaching peer to now be boss?
Shouldn’t be. PP has earned everyone’s respect.
RossWB - February 8, 2012
If I were playing the Kirk Ferentz presser drinking game
I might be dead between “tremendous,” “certainly,” , “right fit,” and vague non answers.
Captain n Diet Coker - February 8, 2012
Don't forget GREAT
RossWB - February 8, 2012
Yes, that too
Captain n Diet Coker - February 8, 2012
And the beauty is, it’s only 4:30 and you’d have the whole night to look forward to.
txhawkeye - February 8, 2012
if you're going to make vauge non answers on of them you would literally never stop drinking
NorseHawk - February 8, 2012
WIN FIGHT TREMENDOUS
mikjones24 - February 8, 2012
Requested Wilson and Morgan moves
RossWB - February 8, 2012
Kirk did? or they did?
HoyaGoon - February 8, 2012
Kirk
Captain n Diet Coker - February 8, 2012
"Good coaches can coach"
RossWB - February 8, 2012
This comment goes in the coachspeak hall of fame
mikjones24 - February 8, 2012
why am I reading that in John Madden's voice?
HawkeyeInExile - February 8, 2012
"Non-descript comment is non-descript."
WaterlooChazz - February 8, 2012
PP not always leader in clubhouse
RossWB - February 8, 2012
I'm tellin' ya, Tom Bradley was Sally Mason'ed.
Lukateake - February 8, 2012
Yeah, that's what some people were saying in the know
Captain n Diet Coker - February 8, 2012
God, so Bradley and Coker. Sally Mason is fucking us all.
txhawkeye - February 8, 2012
Huh. That seems rather bold.
Then again, bold leadership…
WaterlooChazz - February 8, 2012
I would
She has a zoology degree, she’d show me things only bonobos do.
Notclevr - February 8, 2012
Which would explain why he's taking a year off from coaching
Syphilis takes a while to heal up.
YouCanPutYourEddsInIt - February 8, 2012
Nah, it’s like Michal Jordan playing baseball. Just waiting til the heat’s off.
txhawkeye - February 8, 2012
God damn, shes killing us
justsomehawkeyefan - February 8, 2012
This is possible.
RossWB - February 8, 2012
code: KF spent the last two months playing golf
RossWB - February 8, 2012
Nah
he was hitting the casinos in Vegas. Where he is a HUGE gambler, loves the long-odds games
HoyaGoon - February 8, 2012
Phil not always "leader" for position
Hawkeyes - February 8, 2012
"wanted to run the race and gather information"
RossWB - February 8, 2012
Norm was great because he had excellent staff supporting him
AND FROSTING STEAKS
RossWB - February 8, 2012
ST will still be split
Lester, Darrell, ???
maybe 3 guys.
RossWB - February 8, 2012
Excited to have 4 GAs to "abuse" next year
RossWB - February 8, 2012
I guess they only had 2 GAs before
RossWB - February 8, 2012
double the abuse!
SaturdayMorningKegStanzis - February 8, 2012
the beatings will continue until morale improves
HoyaGoon - February 8, 2012
THANK YOU SIR MAY I HAVE ANOTHER
SaturdayMorningKegStanzis - February 8, 2012
Well, like Woods and I think probably Raih were "administrative assistants" or something
NorseHawk - February 8, 2012
Want QBs coached by full-time coach not GA
RossWB - February 8, 2012
QBs will be coached
by the last concession staff at the end of each home-game Saturday.
WaterlooChazz - February 8, 2012
QB coach
could be, not 100% yet
PSD - February 8, 2012
Is one of these guys a DI reporter?
He sounds about 18
RossWB - February 8, 2012
Look for the one confused by the KF speak...
Hawkeyes - February 8, 2012
Does the program need a jolt to get back in the right direction?
CFB not predictable, every year new challenge
RossWB - February 8, 2012
I think he just made a Texas dig.
RossWB - February 8, 2012
SUCK IT, MACK BROWN
RossWB - February 8, 2012
Mack's hanging by a string
Hawkeyes - February 8, 2012
That is not very explainy of you.
txhawkeye - February 8, 2012
hmm?
RossWB - February 8, 2012
He was talking about only a few programs where you look at them and say they "should" be top 10 programs
Then said he can even think of a few programs like that that had losing seasons in recent years.
RossWB - February 8, 2012
Oh, that makes sense.
txhawkeye - February 8, 2012
Likening this season to 2000-2001 or end of 2007
Help us all.
Captain n Diet Coker - February 8, 2012
As long as it's not 2005
HoyaGoon - February 8, 2012
Lowpoint of program overall was mid-06 to mid-07
RossWB - February 8, 2012
Thanks for that groundbreaking opinion.
Hawkeyes - February 8, 2012
Other KF "controversial" thoughts
Hitler, not a very nice guy
HoyaGoon - February 8, 2012
Death
Happens to everyone
Hawkeyes - February 8, 2012
As someone who went to every home game in 99 I must respectfully disagree
NorseHawk - February 8, 2012
Well, we did lose to Western Mich both times.
WaterlooChazz - February 8, 2012
99 had less talent, but way lower expectations too
RossWB - February 8, 2012
I don't care
There are no expectations low enough to prepare you for a QB battle between Randy Reiners, Scott Mullen, and freshman Kyle McCann. Or Tim Dodge starting at multiple positions. I am permanently scarred.
NorseHawk - February 8, 2012
I disagree
My retinas are permanently scarred from seeing too many JC 100mph turf-balls.
DrHenryKillinger - February 8, 2012
Jake Christensen would have been the best QB on the 99 team by MILES
NorseHawk - February 8, 2012
Sure, but there's enough beer to make it go away
That was what I did in ’99. Ah, sophomore year. That level of football was terrible.
therealCatnuts - February 8, 2012
'99 was kind of fun year.
Brand new coaching regime and lots of really close, exciting games. Literally 3 games came down to the very final play (Northwestern, Indiana, Minn).
I still say if Kahlil Hill hadn’t got suspended that year, Iowa goes 4-7.
i_love_iowa - February 8, 2012
Oh noes, 2007!
YouCanPutYourEddsInIt - February 8, 2012
Bye bye
RossWB - February 8, 2012
He's trying to think of all the defensive coordinators
Who he didn’t call.
mikjones24 - February 8, 2012
and that's it
PC over
PSD - February 8, 2012
Was that Hlas that asked the "other D-coord" question?
Kinnick Stadium is my Graceland - February 8, 2012
36 minutes and we learned....What?
Hawkeyes - February 8, 2012
0-100% chance of everything
PSD - February 8, 2012
I like those odds!
Hawkeyes - February 8, 2012
Who could have seen this coming???
NorseHawk - February 8, 2012
That we should have the OC in place
by June. Of 2014
HoyaGoon - February 8, 2012
Trying new "Cover 2 Offense"
We’re really going to focus on our strengths from now on.
Hawkeyes - February 8, 2012
2 punters?
Notclevr - February 8, 2012
Nah, he seemed pretty clear he wanted one by spring ball.
My guess is that’s filled within a few weeks. End of February at the latest.
RossWB - February 8, 2012
dude
don’t forget about the cruise
PSD - February 8, 2012
wait, what cruise?
RossWB - February 8, 2012
coaches cruise bro
They get on a boat
next week, I think.
PSD - February 8, 2012
Ah
Forgot about that. I guess that will delay things a bit.
RossWB - February 8, 2012
That's a nice cruise too
Start in San Juan, go to US Virgin Island, British Virgin Islands, Dominica, and Barbados.
Captain n Diet Coker - February 8, 2012
I'm jealous
PSD - February 8, 2012
Me too. I want to go.
Especially since my husband and I have been looking at vacations to celebrate our 1-year anniversary.
Captain n Diet Coker - February 8, 2012
My wife and I recently booked for out 2 year anniversary
It will also count as honeymoon since we never did that.
SaturdayMorningKegStanzis - February 8, 2012
Yeah, we had a destination wedding in Mexico
with 40 other people, so we didn’t really have a honeymoon either (by ourselves).
Captain n Diet Coker - February 8, 2012
Caution: ascertain if you’re both social people if you’re thinking about a cruise. Especially if it’s a anniversary/honeymoon type situation. Or, do whatever you want and ignore this.
txhawkeye - February 8, 2012
That's actually a good point
Cruises are probably better with a group.
Captain n Diet Coker - February 8, 2012
been on one cruise.. I think they are awesome.
that is all
SaturdayMorningKegStanzis - February 8, 2012
Yeah, I've been on one cruise too
Which was 10 years ago. Man, I’m getting old. Although the stop in Playa del Carmen was all sorts of fun when my sister and I (age 19 and 23 at the time) went into town with a son and father who were serving as our bodyguards (age 30 and 60 maybe?) and partied at Senor Frogs. My sister and I had our picture taken, which was then put on a bottle of Dos Equis, and then used to sell the service to all the tourists.
Captain n Diet Coker - February 8, 2012
My wife and I love cruises, too
We’ve done a couple of Disney ones recently, I highly recommend them. We didn’t feel like they were nickle and diming us to death like some of the other lines, and they’re way better when you have kids.
chitownhawkeye - February 8, 2012
I did a cruise with a bunch ‘o friends to Alaska. It was awesome. I have no desire to cruise again, but that’s because I want to do what I want to do on my own time. Anywho, it’s not relevant, but I do two vacations: VRBO and bareboating. I like the hunt of the VRBO.
txhawkeye - February 8, 2012
first, congrats
second, go all-inclusive
PSD - February 8, 2012
That is our plan for this fall.. Sandals
I must drink $200 worth of booze everyday to “get my money’s worth though” This is gonna hurt.
SaturdayMorningKegStanzis - February 8, 2012
I did that, in Jamaica
I think I was sweating Red Stripe at one point
PSD - February 8, 2012
Which resort?
SaturdayMorningKegStanzis - February 8, 2012
Sandals Negril
PSD - February 8, 2012
Sweet, that is where I will be.
First time at an all inclusive. Any can’t miss activities?
SaturdayMorningKegStanzis - February 8, 2012
snorkling is cool
but the water is meh. I go to Maui every year so it’s not on par with the islands. You can learn to scuba if you want.
PSD - February 8, 2012
yeah, SCUBA scares the shit out of me
I will just sit on the beach drinking and not working. Mostly just not working.
SaturdayMorningKegStanzis - February 8, 2012
there's a nice beach bar
and the poolside bar gets crazy at night. Good times.
PSD - February 8, 2012
I am really looking forward to this.
have not had enough vacation time the past few years.
SaturdayMorningKegStanzis - February 8, 2012
Thanks!
And yeah, I’m all about that. Been to 2 all-inclusives and that is def the way to go. One in Dominican Republic, the other in Puerto Vallarta for our wedding. However, he’s thinking of using Marriott points to book, so don’t know if that’s possible. Although, if we use points, then we probably won’t be that concerned about spending money on food & drink.
Captain n Diet Coker - February 8, 2012
we do Starwood Preferred
free rooms are the only way to go
PSD - February 8, 2012
We've done 3 all inclusives in Mexico
But the GF has a conf in Ft Lauderdale in May, so we are going to fly out a week early and go to either Turks or Caicos… Supposedly some of the best beaches in the Carribean…
The Bird Cult - February 8, 2012 via mobile
that's what I keep hearing re:T&C
wife and I have that on the list for this year, hopefully
PSD - February 8, 2012
Based solely on planning our recent Christmas trip
It appears that traditional hotels in resort areas (ie, Caribbean, etc) offer all-inclusive, but not all the time. For example, we went to Aruba & looked into several hotels (Marriott, Westin, something else) & all had all-inclusion add-ons but none were offering them during that peak travel time.
HawkeyeGirleye - February 9, 2012
Ehh on all-inclusive - at least at a resort
I like heading into town too much and sampling the local vendors…
YouCanPutYourEddsInIt - February 8, 2012
My friend's parents do the coaches cruise every year.
Now they get Christmas cards from the Ferentz family.
Hawkeyegirl - February 8, 2012
Raylan - February 8, 2012
All we learned:
If there is any attempt for either contestant to cheat, especially with my wife, who is a dirty, dirty, tramp, I am just gonna snap. Do I make myself clear?
mikjones24 - February 8, 2012
I hope I’m not the only one who has no idea what that picture is supposed to mean.
txhawkeye - February 8, 2012
Go watch Adam Sandler make with the funnies.
Hawkeyes - February 8, 2012
Oxymoron alert
txhawkeye - February 8, 2012
he still does that?
PSD - February 8, 2012
No
Hawkeyes - February 8, 2012
that picture isn't from Happy Gilmore though
NorseHawk - February 8, 2012
touche
Hawkeyes - February 8, 2012
Billy Madison
Don’t know the exact quote, but something like “that’s the most ridulous, incoherent rant I’ve ever heard. I award you no points.”
Captain n Diet Coker - February 8, 2012
And may God have mercy on your soul.
Kinnick Stadium is my Graceland - February 8, 2012
"We are all dumber for having listened to it."
YouCanPutYourEddsInIt - February 8, 2012
I appreciate that we can all supply the correct quote
“At no point did you approach the right answer.”
My fraternity house had a black box my freshman year. As a result, one of the junior brothers (the president of the fraternity), double-major (History/Humanities. Humanities being a hard and selective major), BA/MA, Phi Beta Kappa, Magna Cum Laude, News Editor on the paper, Treasurer of the Political Union, could recite every single line from both Happy Gilmore and Billy Madison. And did. A lot.
nhradar - February 8, 2012
For those who know not
Mr. Madison, what you’ve just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.
KirksBubbleGum - February 8, 2012
Along with a fail reply :|
This is what I get for not blogging in 2 months.
KirksBubbleGum - February 8, 2012
There it is, in its entirety.
Captain n Diet Coker - February 8, 2012
Gracias
txhawkeye - February 8, 2012
lolwut
Seriously, what is this ISU fan’s problem?
RossWB - February 8, 2012
The game today is just a little too "urban" if you know what I mean
NorseHawk - February 8, 2012
He misses good clean cut guys like Freddy Hoiberg and Julius Michalik.
And Jacy Holloway, even if he did look like he got in the face with a bag of bricks like fifty times.
RossWB - February 8, 2012
HE MAD
Cause they’re running away with the Fulmer Cup as of late.
mikjones24 - February 8, 2012
WHICH HE DIDN'T EVEN CITE
RossWB - February 8, 2012
also in what fucking universe was Michael Jordan a positive role model off the court?
He is the biggest asshole on the planet and a gambling addict
NorseHawk - February 8, 2012
And rich as sin. It balances out.
Hawkeyes - February 8, 2012
I don't know about biggest asshole on the planet
Gambler. Yes.
Womanizer. Yes.
Biggest asshole on the planet? Eh.
I appreciate his arrogance. That’s what made him.
mikjones24 - February 8, 2012
He is a really terrible person who treated everyone around him like a jerk
I mean yeah being an over-competitive psychopath made him a better basketball player, but it did not make him someone worth looking up to
NorseHawk - February 8, 2012
I WANNA BE LIKE MIKE
mikjones24 - February 8, 2012
People love Jordan and hate Kobe
because???
EastLosRandy - February 12, 2012
Because one of them wasn't accused of rape?
HoyaGoon - February 13, 2012
Eh, it's pretty widely known that he was a prick to everyone
and harbors grudges like no on else. It is what made him the basketball player he was, but still, an asshole.
HoyaGoon - February 8, 2012
I don't know, but the chick in the HyVee ad on the right is freaking me out with all of that eyeliner...
Is she Captain Jack Sparrow’s daughter?
YouCanPutYourEddsInIt - February 8, 2012
The blonde?
The florist one unnerves me.
RossWB - February 8, 2012
Eh, that's how you recognize high school girls
(or girls that haven’t quite realized they’re out of high school).
Captain n Diet Coker - February 8, 2012
And what's with the dress code thing?
Athletes are college students. I always wore sweatpants to class. I’d wear sweatpants to work if I could.
mikjones24 - February 8, 2012
same
in fact, that’s kinda why I studied exercise science
PSD - February 8, 2012
Ditto
Except I was a lineman, so I wore baggy shorts because I was constantly sweating my ass off
KirksBubbleGum - February 8, 2012
so you did the slide exit out of your classroom chair
PSD - February 8, 2012
YOU CAN!
Work Sweatpants
YouCanPutYourEddsInIt - February 8, 2012
No. Fucking. Way.
mikjones24 - February 8, 2012
I know, I want them so bad. Would anybody even notice?
YouCanPutYourEddsInIt - February 8, 2012
Those are ridiculous.
RossWB - February 8, 2012
...ly overpriced
YouCanPutYourEddsInIt - February 8, 2012
Yeah.
$90 for sweatpants? That better be like some super high thread count Egyptian cotton shit or something.
RossWB - February 8, 2012
so soft you have to freeball
SaturdayMorningKegStanzis - February 8, 2012
This is what I thought when I went to buy pajama jeans
as the gag gift for my sister-in-law at Christmas. I was expecting within 20 bucks. More like 35. I’m not paying 35 bucks for sweatpants.
Captain n Diet Coker - February 8, 2012
And actually it's $45. No fucking way.
Captain n Diet Coker - February 8, 2012
There is so much irony in this
What, unable to read?
HoyaGoon - February 8, 2012
Maybe this guy really hated BOOK IT!
RossWB - February 8, 2012
He never earned the free pizza
/sad panda’d
HoyaGoon - February 8, 2012
So sad.
RossWB - February 8, 2012
Well,
he has just blown his chances at ever working for the Des Moines Register. Because I’m pretty sure they don’t allow articles about ISU athletes and their criminal behavior.
WaterlooChazz - February 8, 2012
lol if you actually think there is some pro-ISU media bias
NorseHawk - February 9, 2012
lol if you can go 48 hours without trolling the other commentors.
WaterlooChazz - February 9, 2012
pointing out that you said a really dumb thing is not trolling though?
NorseHawk - February 9, 2012
Clearly sir
Hes a giant douche
KirksBubbleGum - February 8, 2012
Wait, ISU has a hockey team?
wtf
RossWB - February 8, 2012
Yeah.
Some people even say it is fun to go to their makeshift indoor rink and watch them.
WaterlooChazz - February 8, 2012
Doesn't the Iowa team at the Coralville mall?
I’m pretty sure I saw them playing while I was getting Whitey’s once.
TwistConePlease - February 8, 2012
Yeah, I think they do.
WaterlooChazz - February 8, 2012
Does Whitey's even have twisted cones?
Give Eddie a Beer - February 9, 2012
Kinda
It’s just a club team. Iowa has one too (as noted they play in the Mall, which is hilarious). ISU markets their team much better though
NorseHawk - February 9, 2012
Oh and it sounds like West Virginia is gonna be in the B12 next year.
Gonna be lots of HOLGO SMASH with those defenses…
RossWB - February 8, 2012
Oh Look
Another conference who doesn’t give 1 iota of a shit about geography…
KirksBubbleGum - February 8, 2012
Is iota the official measurement unit of a shit?
Like a gaggle of geese, or a shrewdness of apes.
rosalita - February 8, 2012
Or A MURDER OF CROWS
RossWB - February 8, 2012
Im really disappoint
To find out a group of bear (s) is called a sloth, or sleuth
KirksBubbleGum - February 8, 2012
Seriously?
A group of bears should have a way better name. Like a MASSACRE OF BEARS.
RossWB - February 8, 2012
I giggled
When I found out a group of giraffes is called a tower. Muahahahaha someone is as evil and cruel as I.
KirksBubbleGum - February 8, 2012
And the most badess assed name
A plague of locusts
KirksBubbleGum - February 8, 2012
It's true, too
chitownhawkeye - February 8, 2012
That reminds me (bears), I re-watched Grizzly Man, or whatever the hell it’s called (Werner Herzog doc) this weekend. That dude was all sorts of fucked up and deserved to get his ass eaten. It still fascinates.
txhawkeye - February 8, 2012
I have no sympathy for people who fuck with nature/wild animals
and then nature/wild animals fucks them.
Captain n Diet Coker - February 8, 2012
I liked Herzog’s narration at the end where he talked about looking at the film of the bears and realizing they didn’t give 2 shits about anything else. They’re eating and pooping machines.
txhawkeye - February 8, 2012
They are the perfect killing machine
if bears could fly, we would have to live in underground bunkers.
Lycurgus - February 10, 2012
My goal is to the Indiana Jones of the botany world
I have had dreams where I needed to collect plants and escape a hoard of angry bears.
I also had a dream that I was being tortured for the location of plant populations, but they were really hard to find and the torture never ended.
Lycurgus - February 10, 2012
A mob of emus?
MNWildcat - February 8, 2012
There's only, uh, four or five states between West Virginia and their nearest B12 neighbor!
RossWB - February 8, 2012
Isn't it mind bottling that ISU is the closest school?
mikjones24 - February 8, 2012
Boggling even
HoyaGoon - February 8, 2012
NEIN
Bottling.
mikjones24 - February 8, 2012
Supposably.
txhawkeye - February 8, 2012
Not really
My Mind is always in a bottle. Usually the liquor type
KirksBubbleGum - February 8, 2012
Well, it's a rivalry that will be preseved and stand the test of time
As fresh 10 years from now as it is today
HoyaGoon - February 8, 2012
I bet ISU was all excited to be the easternmost school in the B12, too.
They’ll just have to settle for being the northernmost.
RossWB - February 8, 2012
Still not as ridiulous as San Diego St and Boise St in the Big East for football
ManziBall - February 8, 2012
Yes
I still don’t know what the conference is going to do for hoopyball
HoyaGoon - February 8, 2012
Aren't all the western-y schools just football-only?
RossWB - February 8, 2012
Yep
I can’t imagine the cost of having every sports team travel across the country for half of their events
ManziBall - February 8, 2012
I have no fucking clue
it seems to change daily
HoyaGoon - February 8, 2012
Yeah, it is very very confusing.
Almost as confusing as the wacky MWC-CUSA merger thing.
RossWB - February 8, 2012
So disappointing that we missed out on the greatest merger ever:
mikjones24 - February 8, 2012
I'm still holding out hope.
And, hey, it could happen if this new continent-spanning Big East falls apart.
WHICH COULD NEVER EVER HAPPEN, OF COURSE.
RossWB - February 8, 2012
The Big East is built to last!
The irony, in part, is that the Big East basically built ESPN by being the first conference to sign a basketball broadcast agreement with ESPN, back in the day when ESPN was showing non-stop cricket and Charlie Daniels’ Bash Fishing Tour, which helped establish ESPN as a “real” network. Only for the bastards in Bristol to turn around and be actively working to bring about its demise.
HoyaGoon - February 8, 2012
Bash Fishing sounds way cooler than real fishing.
RossWB - February 8, 2012
ESPN has blood on its hands, but the Big East would have been wise to take the deal offered to them a year or so ago.
They didn’t and then got poached. Pitt and Syracuse would have less incentive to bolt under that deal.
Also, I figure it if it does crumble, the old school Big East teams will still be together (well, minus Pitt and Cuse), so it won’t be all bad.
RossWB - February 8, 2012
Oh, absolutely
the commissioner of the Big East is a fucking joke.
HoyaGoon - February 8, 2012
There is also more than a little irony in that
Syracuse needed the Big East to become relevant in basketball (at the time, they were largely an after-thought to the Catholic bball schools).
HoyaGoon - February 8, 2012
Living in Memphis I can tell you the folk around here are ecstatic about the move
ManziBall - February 8, 2012
Has Memphis beat an FBS school in football
In the past 3 years?
mikjones24 - February 8, 2012
2.
Tulane and Middle Tennessee State, upon quick perusal.
MNWildcat - February 8, 2012
Wow
They’ve really tanked since DE’Angelo Williams.
mikjones24 - February 8, 2012
And I don't know if their record really does justice to how awful they truly are
ManziBall - February 8, 2012
But they still play UAB
for an awesome trophy.
MNWildcat - February 8, 2012
Holy shit, it's like someone slaughtered and ate Floyd.
RossWB - February 8, 2012
And UAB has only been 1-A/FBS since 1997
And they still have a 9-4 edge in this series
ManziBall - February 8, 2012
What is
“a better trophy than the Corn-growers’ Cy Hawk trophy,” Alex?
WaterlooChazz - February 8, 2012
Umm, I think they beat another CUSA cellar dweller
They were 3-21 under the coach they fired at the end of this year, so I think that means they had to have beaten at least one FBS team
ManziBall - February 8, 2012
Well, given that the head of FedEx (a Memphis alum)
publicly bribed the Big East to bring in Memphis back in 2010, I can believe that to be the case.
HoyaGoon - February 8, 2012
A what if from BTN
if the season ended today, but it obviously doesn’t and it obviously won’t look like this, but
PSD - February 8, 2012
ooh.
Minny would be OK.
Playing OSU in the quarters would suck, though.
RossWB - February 8, 2012
Well fuck. Iowa either needs to move up or down. 8-9 is no bueno.
txhawkeye - February 8, 2012
We have a shot at 6 or 7
Nice schedule.
Notclevr - February 8, 2012
I wouldn't be opposed to beating Minnesota 3 times in one season.
Give Eddie a Beer - February 8, 2012
I don't like that at all
(for us).
Minus OSU, not a bad first-round for y’all!
MNWildcat - February 8, 2012
I'd love to have Illinois' line
Nebraska then Michigan
PSD - February 8, 2012
Exactly.
Almost makes falling to #11 in the B1G look worth it…
MNWildcat - February 8, 2012
this
SaturdayMorningKegStanzis - February 8, 2012
Yeah
They’re a half game better than Iowa right now.
Lots of bunching aside from the top 2 (OSU, MSU) and bottom two (Neb, PSU)
RossWB - February 8, 2012
Not even MSU.
From MSU to Northwestern is a span of 3 games, and MSU to 3rd place WI/Mich is .5 games.
MNWildcat - February 8, 2012
Ferentz on Coker
PSD - February 8, 2012
So... he got Mason'd.
RossWB - February 8, 2012
I think so
PSD - February 8, 2012
Yeah.
That’s what the chatter was and it doesn’t take a lot of reading between the lines there to figure out that KF definitely wasn’t pushing him out the door.
RossWB - February 8, 2012
Never trust a Mason
therealCatnuts - February 8, 2012
Sigh
I hope one day she calls and apologizes to Coker. He is a good kid and all signs point to him getting screwed over by her pretty hard both in football and academically.
justsomehawkeyefan - February 8, 2012
Here's the transcript
KF’s presser
PSD - February 8, 2012
Without clicking on the link
I’m going to take a guess that it’s a blank page.
chitownhawkeye - February 8, 2012
Ding! Rec!
Blackheartnopants - February 8, 2012 via Android app
'At the end of the day, not that we want to be 7 and 6, but if that is the worst that ever happens here, we'll probably survive it better than some other people.'
Truer words were never spoken.
i_love_iowa - February 8, 2012
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