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WE'RE TALKIN' FOOTBALL: NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP GAME LIVEGAMEOPENTHREAD

Time for college football's last gasp before going away 'til September.

Yes, it's a rematch and, yes, the first game wasn't the most thrilling if you like, uh, points, but these are still two deeply talented teams. It should be a good game. And if not, well, there's other stuff on TV too. The game's on ESPN now.

The standard open threading rules apply: no links to illegal online streams, no porn, no politics, no religion, no slurs, no douchebaggery.

0 recs  |  720 comments

Comments

I am completely neutral tonight.

All I know is I want pizza.

A bowl of pizza...
This one is for all the Tos-...Allstate Insurances?
Les Miles is fun.

Nick Saban is not.

This is correct.
I haven't seen a tautology that succinct

since Sam Tautolo

kinda depressed...

That the thing im most excited about for this game is the end of this increasingly-frustrating college football season

It has been WAAAAY too long this season.
Im not watching

simply because if i watch, im rewarding the BCS for not having a playoff when 2 out of every 3 times it would help their situation.

also a chick has invited me over to her place for some afternoon delight, and that takes priority.

afternoon?
well, you know, evening

the point is im getting laid

I'll not argue with you, because I truely hope that you are getting some

but just so you know, calling it “afternoon delight” in the presence of said Special Lady Friend is not, I repeat NOT advised.

Keep calm and carry on.

Lay back and think of England!
Les miles fun so go Tigers

Nick Saban bad, but devestating tornado? So go Bama?

Naw, fuck Bama!

Anything good on TV tonight?
I've never been so apathetic about a football game. Does anyone have a good reason

to root for one team over the other?

I like Les Miles clapping style, now that it has been brought to my attention.

Gotta go with the guy that claps like a special needs kid and eats grass.

All right, you have given a valid reason.

I think Les is much more entertaining. But, it’s a de facto home game for LSU, so boo, fuck them. But, Alabama – who likes them? Plus, missed field goals was not fun the first time around. Can they both lose? I just don’t care.

Why can't this ever happen?

Why can’t both teams lose? That would be fantastic.

Right? Like Michigan v. MSU, or tOSU v. Nebraska. This workings of this need to be figured out.

We've got our best men on it.

Who?
Our best men.

Can we send Mullings to Brad Wing School?
Brad Wing is stupid good at punting.
HOLY SHIT

PUNTING IS WINNING AWESOME

Watching Ramos beat Oliver is still good the second time.

Gable is so amped up

I can't believe I forgot to DVR that. Balls.
I hope this game ends 2-0

on a borderline intentional grounding in the endzone call.

Is it 8 yet?

I’m ready for Raw is Jericho

passing to set up the run?

plzplzplz make them pay for it honey badger

Charles Barkley shilling for Weight Watchers

actually kinda works for me.

"Now only slightly chubby" Mound of Rebound
They have him staring at something 50 feet off the ground

so it looks like he has a chin.

It's so weird that the SEC Championship Game is being played this late in the season.
And that a non division winner is playing in it.
Funny Alabama related story that you might have had have to be there for:

Driving home from the wrestling meet w/ my dad we were talking about a guy who came down from the governor’s office to talk to people in Van Buren Co about their health. Apparently the VBC is ranked 99th out of all of the counties in Iowa in healthy people. My response was “so the VBC is like the Alabama of Iowa?” Him? “Yes, I suppose it is.”

I’m monitoring homework-doing. Is anything interesting happening yet?

Not really, just BIG BOY FOOTBALL
Just like the last game

No.

I was thinking that from watching game 1. It is making this not-compelling.

Will the number of punts be more or less than the number of points?
Oh man, that sucks.

I think he shredded his hamstring.

dude, stop limping like that.

it looks funny

#4 punished for providing excitement
So, whens the next NFL playoff game?
Marion-Kindig on now

blah.

I didn't realize Tom Hanks's son played for Bama.
Is that a Gump reference?

Moar field goal attempts

ALL THE FIELD GOALS

/drink

I'm at work. No spoilers!

It’s 3-0, Bama. There will likely be ~5-6 field goal attempts in this game. Some will be made. There are many factors that go into making a field goal

Dammit!
Do you REALLY care?
Nah. I won't watch.
Exactly.

That fake fg attempt wasn’t exactly scintillating.

I'm not watching. Trying to finish MadMen tonight.

Oh, and I probably should pack for Phoenix since I leave tomorrow.

Ooooh. Lucky you – Mad Men to watch. I watched season one of Downton Abbey the last couple days. And, really liked it. For the record, I had no more Breaking Bad to catch up on.

That's next for me, Downton Abbey, that is.

I want to be able to watch this season. I’m about down w/ MM, on e11 of s1.

That wasn't exactly a 'spoiler', to be fair
Listening to Relationship of Command instead of the commentators improves this game
These offenses are like one-armed scissors
or

the defenses are like 6 armed dragons

instead of the two guys we have now, who are your ideal commentators?

Dan Gable and Tom Brands

Statler & Waldorf.
No knock on the commentators as far as quality goes. I am talking about the game in general.
Pam Ward and Tim Brewster

and Leslie Visser’s stunt double

Throw in Linda Cohn and you've got a deal.

And by throw in, I mean a wood chipper or something that will make her go away.

Hey!!!!!!

Confession: I don’t mind Linda Cohn. There are a LOT of sports-y men and women I would jettison before getting to her. Chris Berman will be in my top 5, for certain. Stuart Scott, too

Booyaa

right into the sun

(insert inappropriate glass eye comment)

Berman is so damn annoying. #1 for me.
Can't stand her

since forever.

I don't like Berman either but Cohn is on every night. She doesn't deserve that kind of exposure.

I think a love child b/w Linda Cohn and Chris Berman would be my worst nightmare and the first sign of the apocalypse.

No!!!

Now you made me think about that. That wasn’t nice.

Actually Brent & Kirk are terrific.
NO!!!!!!!!!

Please don’t say it. Brent’s bombast is just too much for me to handle.

These two are close.

Really, these guys are stuck describing paint drying.

Hello mother leopard, I have your cub
K0K4COMMENTATOR
KOK4KOMMENTARIAT
KOK is Drugs

You heard it here first

WOOO WWE RAW

Now I can watch something believable

Oh? They're fixing this game?
They rigged it so that the SEC would win
THAT'S NOT TRUE PAAWWWWWWWWWWL
You need to look at this way

the SEC will have another loss in a BCS game to show how shitty that conference is

Unfortunately KAAAAANE is not a good start
That little brawl wasn't bad
Missed that.

I can’t stand listening to Kane talk for more than a few minutes.

No. It's pretty bad.

I like what he’s trying to do but just too bad it’s him

I noticed since his comeback

he does a lot of pre-promo welding.

"Honey Badger better care"

You have me back, Brent. Awesome

Oh, Brent LOVES Honey Badger.

He was dropping HB references during the Rose Bowl too.

Holy shit you guys

Antiques roadshow is on

C'MON

Get your damn shoulders up field

Wow, didn't think he got it.

Yeah, it’s not like the chains were hidden.

Sweet fake.

Remember when Kirk called a fake in the Orange Bowl and nearly got Murray killed? Yeah, me neither.

I've got a thirst for ginger ale tonight.

Sadly I don’t have any whiskey to dilute it with.

Sounds like there's only one option

on the rocks.
Ok, two, or neat.

THAT'S HOW YOU LET 'EM KNOW YOU'RE THERE, BAKER
Big boy football.

Surprised he didn’t get a flag there.

Stupid DirecTV add making fun of cable's service when theirs sucks as well

Can we just agree that nobody can take jabs at other companies’ level of service except for maybe Zappos and Four Seasons?

DTV has been far better than any cable provider I've ever had.
*service
Even with Minnesota weather?
I can count on one hand the number of times I've lost service because of weather.
To be fair, you have like, 370 fingers.
SHH

Don’t let them know about my mutation

Who are you calling “them”?

YOU
Hmmmm

People are being civil, calm, serene yet, I sense your blood pressure rising. You need to get out of Minnesota and get some sun, my good fellow.

The... sun?
Big firey ball in the sky.

You may remember it from months ago.

oh, THAT thing.

yeah, it’s not bad.

Needs to go west, or south – away from the godforsaken grey in the winter months

It's pretty gross.

No offense.

Hmmmmmm

Leaving mediascam soon. Just weighing other providers.

I just recall my brother waiting on the phone for literally hours when they kept screwing up his NFL package
loved the email from them today on raising the rates

sweet, thanks guys

Jesus. Here we go

That's a big boy to get up that high
So, Bama should just not even try a fg the rest of the game

is that 6 now missed.blocked vs LSU?

ITS A DR PEPPER COMMERCIAL WITH NO PITBULL

THANK YOU JESUS

LETS HAV-

You’re right.

Brent says that pass to Smelley was "well sniffed-out by" the LSU player

lulz

Brent is over-excited for decent plays

why is alabama throwing so much

i absolutely don’t get it

A lot of them have been working.
certain routes definitely are

but it doesn’t seem like there’s an answer for the run.

also, i don’t have enough rum for all these field goals

i just don't get pulling richardson when you're in the red zone
no, that seems dumb.
Is he prone to fumbles?
"In 487 games, he has fumbled once"-ChaCha.com
I didn't realize he had that much eligibility.
sounds like it's time

to RELEASE THE KRAKEN

Looks like LSU is going with the same gameplan they used against Georgia

No offense whatsoever, fall behind by a margin that should be even worse, etc.

These two teams would get killed in the Big 12
In basketball?

Wait – is that like spring football?

If we're talking from a points standpoint

They wouldn’t stand a chance in the MAC

i know i'lll probably come off the ledge soon

but i’m scared about our game in soldier with niu

That's because NIU is a pretty good team
They are bowl champions.
More than we can say.
Merits mentioning.
They lose their leading QB, RB, and WR, if that helps.
So do we

In order: fingers crossed, bound to happen, hope he gets drafted

There's about a 95% chance that Vandenberg and Coker are starting in that game.

Quit the chicken little bullshit.

it was supposed to be jokey

But yeah, you’re right. Neither funny nor appropriate.

Yeah,

because Rudock is ready.

/Not.

wow, yes

but they won’t lose their attitude. i just wonder about our ability to score enough points to win a game like that, but too far away to start over analyzing, i’ll cut myself off

if we're going to get freaked the fuck out by NIU in January, I'm going to be handing out valium here by St. Patrick's Day.
i'm not sure why you wouldn't just do that anyways
St. Pattie's Day boozin'

plus non-prescribed valium?

Sounds like a recipe for Black and Gold Jonestown.

You're right.

No one has ever mixed alcohol and valium and survived.

Glad to see you aren't grumpy tonight.
I'm not made of money!

(Or prescriptions.)

Airports?

BHGP could use its own international airport…

I wasn't impressed w/ valium. You might want to hand out something stronger.

The oxycodone is much more enjoyable. Or so I’ve heard

Mine was supposed calm me b/4 a dental proceedure. Meh.
Didn't do much for me either

Had it when I hurt my back. The flexeril on the other hand was outstanding.

Oxycodone works well with muscle relaxers,

of which I don’t remember the name. I was given that combo for my last knee surgery. In the words of Apollo, NO PAIN.

The valium? Not impressed. I broke a collarbone and two ribs skiing last year – the orthopod at Steamboat was generous with his prescribing powers and told me red wine would enhance the effects of the oxy. He didn’t have to say it twice. The shoulder was nothing – I hope to never break ribs, ever ever again. Thank the good lord for legal pharmaceuticals.

Whoa, I broke my collarbone summer b/4 5th grade. Crazy.

I was jumping terraces on my mini-bike and the right handlebar broke.

That's so country

Were you wearing a plastic KC batting helmet?

No! But I have one. I highly doubt I was wearing a helmet at all.

I was pretty bad ass.

WAS?

Come on CW. You are BAD ASS still

Yer damn right I am!
I know I am right

that is why I said it.

Bad. Ass.
She's the only chick I "know"

who travels 4 hours to be at a wrestling meet on a Saturday night.

/Bad-ass, indeed.

Actually, 5 if I don't go to my parents, 5.5 if I do.

I came up to my parents Friday night so it wasn’t a straight shot.

Yeah, I paused when I typed "4".

I know it’s 5 from KC to Waterloo.

Broke mine in 10th grade.

Night-sledding. Sucked. Knocked me out of swimming (and thus a good shot at State), had to wear that horrible brace for god knows how many weeks, etc. Awful. It’s still kinda fucked up – achy & makes gross grinding/crunching sounds.

Ouch.

Was it like an Aluminum Monster type of brace?

No.

That would’ve been better, actually. It was just a padded cloth type thing with adjustable straps.

It smelled awful after awhile.

It couldn’t be laundered, and I couldn’t take it off for a couple weeks, and it was waaaaaaaaay too painful (and risky, healing-wise) to shower. Ugh.

Night sledding was the best. But then, only until someone gets hurt, and someone always gets hurt.

I never understood how that could ever fix anything.

I had to what that stupid thing at Disney World.

My shoulder is fine, thank god. The collarbone I broke resulted in that shoulder being shorter than the other. When I pointed it out to my doctor, he looked at me and said, quote, “What do you fucking care?”

/Texas Doctorin'

He trained in Boston and was one of the team docs for the Patriots for awhile. He gave me the impression he’d seen worse. There’s a reason I don’t go to doctors

no insurance?

Do doctors ever tell you things you want to hear? I feel good. My parts all work well. I’m good.

You're not pregnant. Your test came back fine.

Those are things the doctor has told me that I wanted to hear.

speaking of pregnancy

how is your internet child doing?

Probabaly dead. Or living w/ his father, maybe?
LMAO
Shoot, I don't even remember who his father is.

That’s probably not good. All you guys run together in my mind. JUST KIDDING.

You are all very special.
I bet you say that to all the internet guys

You’re right of course. Perhaps, I should say I practice passive avoidance. Not a fan of the euphemistic “procedures”.

You have a baby?
Ya, it was a couple months ago when we were talking about Archer, I think.

I can’t remember who it was w/ though. He hasn’t been around in a while.

Speaking of Archer

10 days to the new season?

I've been dying

just watching re-runs of episodes I haven’t seen.

I may have to break down and buy it on DVD (although, I’d probably never get to watching it).

I'm very excited but Justified is what I'm really waiting for.
Baby mama drama, I suspect
I thought it was either

Ly or RR.

no it was I.A city or something like that
Yeah, C.I.owA. or something like that.
No, I don't think either of them were here that night.
Dude if you're holding...
He hides it in that shoe

that he can’t find.

/DRUGS’d

he was around one of the other stories earlier for the first time in a long time

incredible video in his sig line

I will have to find that, later.

I’m waiting around here until we have the 2012 equivalent of Pelican Whore.

How much? Asking for a friend.
Purpleven Chizik nickels.
Ok who do you all have for the NFL Conference Championships?

I have the Saints and the Packers for the NFC and the Patriots and Baltimore for the NFC.

What say you?

err i mean Pats and Balt for AFC
Sounds about right.
San Fran and Green Bay

Patriots and Ravens

I would like to see SF

in the championship game. they definitely have a great defense.

Mr. Boring goes chalk

(and would have won all 4 games this week with chalk)

I don't know what this means.
You went chalk with your picks

All chalk teams won this last weekend. It’s 1-2-3-4 in both conferences.

I think most people are thinking NO will win, though.
Drew Brees looks mighty good
Ok. This Chronicle movie looks somewhat decent
Earlier tonight I saw the Barbasol American Truck Driver commercial for the first time in forever.

Warms the heart.

No truck driver looks like that
it was on B1G and beyound

last night too
made me fool good

jefferson looks confused/scared/lost/bewildered

and so on and so forth

Too bright.

He’s only comfortable in dark places with plenty of glass to break.

He needs to chill the fuck out.

Maybe Honey Badger has something that can help out with that…

right, some kind of natural solution

herbal perhaps?

Honey Badger knows more about the synthetic variety, I believe.
The synthetic stuff is bullshit.
Honey Badger agrees.

/suspension’d

strait imitation bullshit

They just spent a week in New Orleans. You’d think they’d have been well provisioned.

So apparently if you want to rob a bank in Baton Rouge, Now is the time to do it.

I just arrived in BTR and the town is DEAD. No cars on the road, etc. Target was the slowest I’ve ever seen it. The gas stations were occupied by the street people, etc etc.

Is that a work trip?

Because if the Tigers win, you should lock up tight. Don’t get caught up in the gumbo-soaked riot later on.

Sounds like a fun riot to me.

But then, I love gumbo.

Yes to work trip.
All you'd find is a vault full of muskrat pelts

Why bother?

Not true.

There’s probably a gator-tooth necklace in there, too.

Game over

probably

barring some special teams fireworks, yes

lsu is gonna have to get a honey badger spark or they are dead in the water

THE FUNKASAURUS
Why why why

This guy had all the potential to just be a destroyer. This is an un-welcomed gimmick for me

Disagree!

I’m pretty sure he would have been a fat piece of crap, so I think this will be infinitely more entertaining

Ok nevermind. This is pretty great
And that Latina chick has huge boobies
It's like King Kong Bundy and Taz had a child.

And then the child was abandoned on a fictional planet. And then rescued and raised by Flash Funk. And then he trended #1 worldwide.

Shows you how much i care about the game

grandson just left
thought i would watch the end of big monday
and espn had this meainingless threee feild goal game on
guess i can go to bed

I went to Buffalo Wild Wings

to watch some football a couple of Sundays ago and they don’t have any buttons behind to the bar to let the different game venues to have the grounds crew trip players to extend games.

I was highly dissapointed.

At my BWW they just call it in. The buttons get sticky if people spill drinks at the bar
that makes sense

i guess they got to spiff it up a bit for TV

Glad to see Chizik

is still an ignorant moron

Should've hired zook when he had the chance
you forgot slimy

shady
and
shitty

Did you just backhand someone and tell them to make you a sandwich?
I wish

Chizek brings out the worst in me

I couldn’t hit mute too fast.

So apparently if you want to rob a bank in Baton Rouge, Now is the time to do it.

I just arrived in BTR and the town is DEAD. No cars on the road, etc. Target was the slowest I’ve ever seen it. The gas stations were occupied by the street people, etc etc.

Oh, jesus christ. How does my computer fuck that up so badly I double post like 11 minutes apart?
I thought I was in a time rabbit hole

just like the new Stephen King novel

It was worth mentioning twice.

I look forward to your double-posted eye-witness reports from the Gumbo Riot later on.

uuuh, did you go zombie on us? Or you really really want us to know you’re in Baton Rouge.

I blame the interwebs.
You're goddamn right I just added SCORPION KING 3 to my Netflix queue.
We know you love Billy Zane.

/Who doesn’t?

Ron Perleman will be in any movie where he gets to carry a large weapon
FTFY

Ron Perleman will be in any movie where he gets paid.

Even if he were paid in gum.
DON'T TALK ABOUT HELLBOY THAT WAY!
ive been in la land

did they ever announce the dc hire?

Yes.

It’s you.

Pack your stuff.

Write some game plans in poem-form.

ive always wanted

to see a game from the field
in the holy land
but im unqualified
and more than that
i would disappoint all of you

Fine.

Then I guess you have to be offensive coordinator.

36 x dive right

and the end around?

God-damnit.

You would have to be an “end-around” believer, wouldn’t you?

my limitations

are many

But you’d be a great coordinator. You could tell us all kinds of secrets

i of course would continue

my bond with the true of BHGP
and not even captain kirk
could figure out my nick here
but i would be ok
cause i dont twitter tweet or face
you all are much better to hang with

Penn St is hiring Ted Roof, supposedly

Guess he’s off the table. Bet that’ll go over great over at BSD.

would captain kirk

care that much for
the psu lefover?

TED ROOF!

RUSTED!

/Loveshack’d

Thank God we don't have interactive TV

Or we’d be covered with spit. Here comes Jack Thwagger

I'm at an LSU watch party at Buffalo Wild Wings.

Needless to say, roll tide. Also for the potential chaos in the BCS.

Top 3 ugliest band uniforms

1. Texas
2. LSU
3. Nebraska

You forgot Oregon.
LIES!! OREGON'S UNIFORMS ARE THE BEST.
I knew that would drawy you out
So I hear a couple times you are in Baton Rouge.
A couple times? Ya did? Cool.

yes.

GUMBO RIOT!!!!!!!!

I can't believe PSU hired Ted Roof as their DC.
Goodbye cover three

Hello cover zero

He was so good,

that he was at Auburn for a whole two years, before having to go to UCF.

I guess O’Brien figures he can’t keep any current guys? And he must want an experienced guy at DC.

Still, Ted Roof?

Don't know if this was mentioned but

Saban went for it with a minute and a half left in the first half. He scored points and did it against the first or second best defense in the land. I love Ferentz but we all know what he would have done…

Every Football coach

will try to score points at the end of a half, except Ferentz

Not true.

There’s a bunch of dead ones that can’t.

I think even those coaches would try to score points at the end of a half
Meet Pat Fitzgerald.
I said coach

not a wizard with a magic potato

Wow

Even the halftime entertainment is field goal kicking…

It is not halftime entertainment

but a preview of things to come

i thought it was

the LSU kicker
warming up
for the tOSU leftovers
no tats for you !!!

I loved the crowd reaction. Wait, the game started again? Who could tell?

i kept waiting for the guy in the commercials

to burst in
and block one

THAT would have been awesome

Yo Dawg. We heard you like field goal attempts, so we put field goal attempts between your field goal attempts, so you can regret watching while you regret watching.

/XZibit’d

oh, fuck off SEC
my thoughts too

also, i hate that millions of talented high school kids just saw that

Not watching the game, so I have no idea what this is in relation to

But I couldn’t agree more

their commercials about winning the last (mumblemumble) bcs championships in a row
they had a commercial during halftime that said "you're watching history" then showed their 6 national titles in a row
Well in that case

Yes, fuck off SEC

the BIG should do that type of commercial for wrastlin
Did the commercial show these people?

http://deadspin.com/5735160/when-auburn-fans-descend-on-walmart/gallery/1

Yep. These are the people I see every day living in the south
Are you sure those all arent Steven Bloom's neighbors?
I am sure they are

Bloom’s mental perceptions of his neighbors.

As a former Alabama resident,

I can vouch that the majority of the state actually DOES look like that!

Jesus,

Chip Kelly even likes his half-time commentary to move at a breakneck pace.

He is like the football nerd supreme.

chip kelly reminds me

of that uncld you dont want to admit
you really have

LSU has the offense of champions
That wasn't a horse collar?

Actually I don’t care.

The one in the first quarter?

I thought so too, but the guy might have got the shoulder instead of the neck-hole.

No, just happened a few plays ago on the screen.
I just realized I watched the whole half-time show

while still being 15 minutes behind the real-time due to my DVR.

Alabama coaches

are watching this guy in the blue shirt, saying “He’s better than anyone we have.”

good

another FG

Mmm, more field goals.
If i were going to stay up longer

i would rework the lyrics to Monty Python
Spam spam spam
to
field goal field goal field goal
but i think i would rather go to bed
seeing as the nebulizer is almost through

Good night, sweet prince. You’ll be missed, but won’t miss much

Wait LOL It actually has the Dr. Pepper logo on the coaches trophy?

Hahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahshhahahahahahahahahaahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Dr. Pepper Ten, right?

Since this game is all manly and stuff.

No, it was just the regular Dr. Pepper logo. But your idea makes more sense.
Christ

Put in your backup QB, Les.

thank you for looking downfireld

MOAR CRAZY LSU PLZ

Lest we forget

The superdome
is where they all came to find relief
during katrina
and the bush administration
couldnt find it for five days
even though it was on the Triple AAA map
god bless those folks
for what they had to suffer

heckuva job there
and with that

good night gracie

My goodness.

On ESPN3, it’s the same Nissan commercial OVER and OVER. MY EYES.

Is it one of those where they have a truck performing open-heart surgery or somesuch?

With a disclaimer that the truck cannot actually do whatever is depicted? Those are stupid.

and so begins the heavy bleeding
roll tide?

I am indifferent. I thought I’d care at some point, but it has not yet arrived

classic sabanball

i wanted the mad hatter to get it, but it just isn’t gonna happen

I can't wait to see how happy he is when he wins it again.

No, no, no, ladies call that the crimson WAVE. Not tide.
Oh come one guys! This is comedy gold. If you were chicks you'd think it was hilarious.
yeah guys really don't like it

when the “monthly visitor” comes

These are the jokes!
It's Crimson Tide.

End of discussion.

Period.

I see what you did there...
Oh yeah, maybe it is.

Gee Chaz, you sure know a lot about women’s special time.

Periods attract bears. Yes?

What kind are best?

Well there are two schools of thought on this
I thought it was sharks?
Sharks are found in only two places in the world

The northern and southern hemispheres

You had me going at the subject line.

Well done, ol’ chap.

/strange wilderness’d

That's what I've read here.
The humor just flows out of me.
that was Bloody awful

You need to stop with that that kind of discharge

You gotta figure that settling for all those FGs

will make Alabama sweat at some point. LSU flukes a TD somehow and it’s a ballgame.

Hoping so. I want to see a decent NCG.

I think Herbstriet

just used a tele-strator to draw a vagina on that LSU pass play.

/I’m watching on a slight delay.

It may have had something to do with Dove Men Care of whateverthefuck that is

I am so tired of hearing Brent Mushburger

say “Honey Badger” I hate it worse than him saying “Youngster”

He sounds stupid. If you’re a 70 plus year old dude, you don’t get to refer to 20 year old guy’s nicknames for themselves.

You are so right about that
Yep.

Musberger is awful. Just not as awful as most play-by-play guys out there.

I don’t even detest him. These guys just need to consider these players are not their peers. They’re kids, and Brent, you’re an adult. Talk like it.

I'm sure someone at ESPN encourages it

to make them appear “hip.”

And, in fairness, there are plenty of ESPN employees who don’t act like adults.

There is that. Al Michaels doesn’t have to get caught up in that. And I’m dating myself, but Pat Summerall didn’t, either

But he did commercials for True Value.

Not really sure what that has to do w/ anything other than me wanting to show that I’m old too.

I am older

I remember Cosell and Merideth calling Monday Night Football

I doubt I watched them but I remember that they did.
I wish I was around for that.

I’ve been at events that he attends in Dallas a couple times the last few years. His voice is exactly the same. He’s a little unsteady, but the voice is awesome.

I can't believe he's still alive.
the alcohol is keeping him well preserved
Liver transplant

He could probably still broadcast. I don’t think he could tolerate the travel

Al Michaels definitely does, at times.

They don’t make them like Summerall, anymore.

OMG this is awesome.

I love R Truth

the look jefferson just made on his face

will be the leading picture in publications across the country

Looked like he was past the line of scrimmage when he flipped that

Did he dislocate his hip?

They should move Jefferson to defense.
I thought he broke his lower leg...
He's just having a knee jerk reaction.

No big deal.

Good god. This game sucks

No. More.

Field. Goals.

so hard to believe that this is a two possession game
No, it's a four possession game.

Haven’t you paid attention to the 6+ quarters of football these guys have played this year?

Not exactly quick on the whistle there.
LSU is doing its best impression of BCS-Ohio St.
I hate Ohio State,

but they would’ve scored a fucking TD by now.

Against these defenses?

Probably not.

I think they would have.

But I also kind of agree with Sampson’s point below.

This year's Ohio State offense?

I doubt it.

True.

I figured we were talking the OSU offenses that played in big bowls.

I don't know if they would have, either.
I think they would have.

These defenses are good, maybe historically so. But I don’t think they’d be dominant against actually balanced teams of high quality.

The 2002 OSU offense wasn't very good.

They won with defense, special teams, and a lot of good fortune.

The 2006 offense beat up on mediocre defenses but got utterly owned by a Florida defense that probably wasn’t as good as either of these defenses.

The 2007 offense was somewhere in between those two offenses. That team didn’t deserve to be in the title game, but no one really did that year, so whatever.

I was thinking 06 and 07.

I can’t remember what type of WR talent the 02 team had, but I doubt Krenzel does much.

06 eventually scored a first-half rushing TD against Florida? And 07 got one in three different quarters against LSU?

/I realize those Florida and LSU Defenses aren’t as good as tonight’s.

After giving up 4 or 5
at least there would have been one

we’re up to 10 FGs now

so true, it was the only thing i had as a comeback walking out of the shoe after the overtime loss

osu guy-that’s a long way for you guys to come for a loss
me-isn’t that what usc usually says to you?

I think Reid might've been heaving there.
This looks like a rugby game

And did LSU prep for this game? Or did they assume the vote would go their way win or lose?

Their defense did.

I think the offensive meetings were held on Bourbon Street.

Is this now 7 quarters these teams have played without a touchdown?

I mean, I know the defenses are great, but subpar offenses have to take some of the credit for this statistic

The LSU offense is less complicated than a middle school JV team
SEC SEC SEC SEC WE RUN THIS BITCH
Yeah.

Bama doesn’t pass well.

LSU’s offense is obviously garbage.

Soooooo, 7 FG attempts, 5 successful. How many first downs does LSU have?

Anyone keeping track

of how many time Musberger has said “honey badger?”

I'd guess a minimum of 3 or 4.

And, they showed the LSU Tiger mascot dressed as a honey badger.

Using nicknames like that on college kids bothers me

Never liked the whole “beanie” wells thing either

I hated "Beanie" for Chris Wells.

But I’m okay with Tyler “MotherFuckin’” Sash.

That minimum is kind of low.

I’d go with at least 12.

Yeah.

At the time, I said 3 or 4.

But Musberger has said it like, 7 times in the last 5 minutes.

My dog just retired for the evening

Too many FGs for her liking.

Why is Jefferson still in there?

In case there’s a fight?

Really fucking hate the "4th quarter" fingers

WE GET IT

That's how many FGs they'll miss in the 4th quarter.
What's 4th quarter fingers?
the 27 camera shots they just squeezed into 5 seconds of everyone on the field and in the stands holding four fingers up
I'm not watching the game. I don't care who wins.
i was more making fun of the production crew squeezing every bit they could out of it

and you’re obviously not missing much

Sex joke!

Kidding!

Football teams do it. It’s a “4th quarter belongs to us” thing.

I thought it was a 'Pope of Greenwich Village' homage

Your way makes more sense, though.

They could sub in the Heil Hitler

It is Alabama after all?

Some people watch pornography, but KOK watches this game.
He just wants to learn the vaunted Alabama passing attack.
what a new joke

Over/under on how many times Brent will say “nothing doing” tonight?

Less times than "middle!" or "honey badger."
or the combined use of the phrase

“you know they’ve been saying all year”

Don't wake up in a roadside ditch!
Even Herbstriet uses a jab at Clemson.
I will never understand aerial coverage of a dome.
But, there's lights.
Cincinnati just upset Georgetown.
FUCK ME

it begins

the good hands play is handling normal snaps?

not even bad snaps?

Good Hands Play is a FG!

At least somebody there has a sense of humor.

Hey! They mentioned Nebraska!
I did it first! I NEVER get any credit.

/kicks can and pouts

okay, Brent...just calm down.
I think Musberger just pungasmed.
Well there was 3 mentions in 30 seconds of the honeybadger
No tacos means no friends
did you guys know pickup trucks can't snowboard?

I had no idea

Kane should get arrested for attempted murder like every other week.
The actual honey badger just changed its name

to Sal.

Jefferson's thinking

“Man, I really need some Jager-bombs right now.”

Me too.
Got a bottle chilling in the fridge
LET'S HAVE A REAL GOOD TIME
Good thing I decided not to drink

every time I heard fucking Eye of the Tiger.

OH JHC.

“First penetration into Alabama Territory”

/TWSS ESPN!

but did you want to penetrate into Alabama?
There are some hotties there.

Just check out their, danceline?

I ain't a fool. I'd wrap the tool.
Their option game is awesome
"______________ has not worked for LSU tonight."
Throwing repeatedly into the flat
Jordan Jefferson
Showing up
Good god, stop with the option already

I’m trying to think if there has been one time tonight when he has pitched it and I thought they would pick up more yards than if Jefferson had just kept it

Admittedly,

I couldn’t name their RB coming into this game.

I still can't
He always pitches it too soon, it seems to me

Doesn’t make any tackler commit first.

Yep.

Not willing to take the hit.

In fairness, it would hurt quick, against this D.

^this

there are always four people who make the tackle at or behind where the ball was pitched from.

And the defender isn’t on the ground to be kicked in the head

They are fucking awful...
Tino Sunseri's brother making a difference?

Was not prepared for that.

Micah Hyde thinks he is a gamechanger
KOK would be a god in Baton Rouge
You act like he isn't a God here in Iowa,

or, a sprite at least.

While LSU must be more embarrassed by their offense (or lack thereo) tonight,

how proud can the Tide be, not having scored any TD’s themselves?

total yards

bama 325
lsu: 96

They've moved it consistently, though

Only had to punt three times so far. Maybe punting isn’t winning? Nah.

Bite your tongue.
Haven't watched any of the game

so I don’t know if the score indicates a crushing defensive effort by Alabama or complete ineptitude by LSU. Fortunately, i will have ESPN do all my thinking for me and simply tell me it was a defensive effort so intimidating it makes the 1985 Bears and 2000 Ravens look like total pussies in comparison.

Alabama's D is great tonight,

but if LSU belonged here, they should have stumbled into a TD or a couple FG’s by now.

LSU's offense has looked like shit tonight, but arguing that they didn't deserve to be in this game is absurd.

They were the best team all year. They scored 40+ on average against non-Bama teams. They beat more top-10 teams than anyone in recent memory. They absolutely deserved to be here. They just didn’t show up too well in this game.

I probably should have said

“played like they belonged here.”

I read that Miles had to threaten guys with weigh in

Because they all started eating like the off season and not working out.

In other words they didn’t want to play this game.

Probably because they already played it once.

But, yeah, they’re playing like they didn’t want to be here.

To be fair, why should LSU even have to play these guys?
Because ESPN demanded it
Because Okie St

couldn’t beat the Cyclowns?

because people are dumb?
Is the new rule you have to play Bama till they beat you?

I kind of thought if they beat Bama, in Tuscaloosa, that should have been enough to not have to do it again. I was wrong – but this game has been no fun

LOL reminds me of games as a kid like in bball against my brother. Ok best out of 3.

lose again. Let’s go best of 5!

It's the SEC West's world.

We’re just living in it.

Maybe Okie State would've put up a better fight,

but I think Bama would have scored a couple of TDs on them.

I doubt Stanford would keep up with Bama.

And LSU was the undefeated team and SEC champ.

It's all bullshit

But any of those teams, outside of Oregon, deserved a chance more than Alabama

I think Bama is proving it deserved the chance,

right now.

They are playing an unenthused rematch

Theyre not this good.

LSU looks like they reduced the play book for this game
Maybe.

But if LSU can look this bad, then any team could lose a game this year.

So, the only answer is a 4 or 8 team playoff.

I think Nick Saban teams must be required to play in the MNC every other year
Musberger just said

“has Alabama found a coach that will make them forget the Bear?”

What a joke.

They forgot B.J.

They’ll forget the Bear too.

Please stop

I really, really hate how playoff proponents try to shoehorn EVERY flaw in college football into the “a playoff would solve it” solution.

Playoff would have answered

whether or not Okie State or Stanford deserved a shot.

Personally, I don’t have a huge problem with Bama, now.

No, it wouldn't have

I’ll grant that Alabama shouldn’t be in this game. But then again, neither should Stanford. And Oregon already lost to LSU. Okie State had a legit argument. Basically, all a 4 or 8 team playoff would have done this year is give a bunch of teams the chance to win a title they didn’t earn in the regular season.

Like Bama this year. Needs to be maybe a plus one. Nothing more than that though
Yeah, I prefer the naked subjectivity currently in use

Its America at its democratic finest.

I think every soccer league in Europe should adopt the BCS model

Its awesome.

Somehow

this country, and college football, survived 100+ years of not having a consensus national champion “crowned” on the field. I think it could do so again.

Did we?

Not sure….

I don't understand how in every other sport we have a playoff

but for some reason, only one division of football we don’t. That has never made sense to me.

And yet, it never seemed to bother people

and worked fairly well.

Look, I’m resigned to the fact that in a couple of years we’re going to have a “plus one” or four team playoff. I’m also resigned to the fact that there will inevitably be bracket creep leading to 8, 16 or even more. And that will ruin the fun of college football

we already have a plus one

the plus one is the BSC championship game. There were many who were not satisfied with the bowl nor the BSC?

How will a playoff ruin the fun of college football? Does the NCAA basketball tournament a bore to you?

No

but it has rendered most of the regular season meaningless

how so?

you don’t win in the regular season, you don’t make the tourny. that seems like something to play for. Make it to the tourny

When you can finish 8th in your conference

and still make the tourney, it kind of renders the regular season moot.

Fuck, all you have to do is look at UConn (cheating bastards) last year. They had an AMAZING run starting in the second week of March. Which rendered their thoroughly average play over the prior 4 months meaningless.

that is what makes the playoff or tournament exciting

where a Cinderella can make some waves.

No

it simply rewards a team getting streaky at the right time.

If you really want Cinderellas, we should simply have the basketball conference championship tourneys as the entirety of the season, then pick all the other teams for March Madness out of a hat. Because that’s what you’re doing by rewarding teams that didn’t really earn it during the season.

By that same logic

if you were really the best, then you would even beat that streaky team or perhaps the “better” teams in the regular season, just peaked too early.

In any given game

anything can happen. The problem becomes when you let too many teams in. The regular season should serve to winnow the field so that any playoff is the best of the best. But that’s not how it works. Win your conference championship, and you’re in. had UConn not won the Big East Tourney last year, even had the lost in the finals, they weren’t making March Madness, their resume was that bad. Thus, the entirety of their regular season was rendered meaningless for the sole fact that they got hot at the right time. That’s bullshit. Just because Iowa State got hot at the right time versus Okie State, that doesn’t qualify them to be playing for all the marbles.

I guess to me

that is exciting, when the underdog wins. that is fun to see the loser get hot. At any time any team should have beet UConn, after all they sucked in the regular season. they had to win what? 10 games in a row to win the Championship? they did the impossible. That is great.

Now lets look at football, first there are not that many games as opposed to BBall. there are not that many teams in FBall as there is in BBall. There would be fewer teams in a FBall playoff. Also you want to talk fair, if it is not fair for a UConn team to win the NCAA championship, simply because they got hot at the right time, then how is this current BCS fair when undefeated teams don’t even get a sniff of the Championship game. TCU, Boise State, Cinnicinati. They don’t get a sniff because they are not in an AQ conference. The Big 6 keep them out. Do they have a weaker conference? sure but is that reason enough to not give them a shot? I don’t think so.

I liked the old bowl system better

It didn’t promise something that it can’t actually deliver like the BCS does or a 4-team playoff would. Everyone knew the championship was ‘mythical’ and we were okay with it.

Yeah, the good old days of cronyism!
It's funny how every other sport can manage a playoff

And every other football level. Get used to 7 teams holding that trophy.

So what?

Seriously? So, fucking what? I’ve never understood the obsession with having to have a clear-cut champion in a sport where each conference’s best teams will have played, at most, 10% of the total competition in the same division (1A)

You like boxing I can see

In the 40s football staged exhibitions. That is essentially where this is.

This game was an exhibition...
Saban said, after he lost on a decision...

“I wanna rematch” and Don King arranged it.

This is the only bowl game that wasn't an exhibition

In the old system you could have two or three bowl games that had a bearing on the MNC. Now there’s just the one and all others have no chance of influencing anything.

It more or less was

There are scorecards in boxing, but do you trust them? Ask Amir Khan about them.

Like I said

I know I’m on the losing side of history on this. And I have no real love for the BCS. But let’s stop pretending that a “playoff” is some sort of panacea

Just don't poo poo it then

Give it a chance

It will never happen because the promoters will never let it happen
that is where we disagree

It will happen, eventually.

I don't think so...it will stop well short of a true playoff.
exactly

a playoff is exciting. Who, other than UConn fans, weren’t cheering for Butler last year, or for the Packers last Superbowl, with all those injuries and the improbable run?

As long as you acknowledge

that, more often than not, a team that isn’t “deserving” is the one that is going to end up with the title.

I can't think of another team

that wasn’t “deserving” that won the title in basketball. Maybe NC State when they beat Houston, but usually the team that wins the title in basketball is a team that deserves it or has a good case to make.

Didn't a team that wasn't deserving just win it all?

To me the NY Giants were deserving because of the playoff format. Bama is not deserving.

When they beat the undefeated Pats
Who had already beat them in the regular season

at the Giants home.

Playoff, makes it all clean

This was dirty

That this was dirty

we are in complete agreement

The fact

that a .500 team like Denver this year (or a sub-.500 team like Seattle last year) could win it all is a travesty. But under your standard, they would be “deserving”

how often does that happen?

also, did Seattle win the Super Bowl? Denver will get beat this weekend.

The rules are clear at the start of the season. In college football

It is a mystery as to how to win a NC. It’s a total joke.

In the NFL the rules are clear that is
I guess we will have to agree to disagree

on the playoff issue. I hope someday before I die, I get to see a playoff system in 1A college football.

As do I. But I'm not holding my breath.
You will

and the first year it is in place, people will be bitching that the #5, or #9 or #17 team was unfairly excluded and that the only way to “fix” this problem is to expand the playoffs.

That's better

than wondering who the “true” #2 team is. And excluding some deserving teams.

NFL playoffs or NCAA hoops tourney at least doesn’t keep many truly deserving teams out.

And worrying about bracket creep as an excuse for not having a “true” championship is just bad.

second that

on bracket creep

I think it's a legitimate concern

and one that I would appreciate playoff proponents would acknowledge. I’m more than happy to admit the limitations of the current system (or the pre-BCS system). I’m just willing to live with them. But it’s far more honest than simply dismissing the flaws of your system as inconsequential.

And this isn’t directed solely at you, Chazz; but rather playoff advocates in general.

Would a playoff “fix” a number of “problems” in the current system? Yes, undoubtedly. But it would introduce a whole host of new ones, while not really solving the key issue it purports to. Trust me, the arguments for who is the “true” #4 or #8 team will be just as vehement, and fraught with problems, as they are for currently for the #2.

I get what you are saying

but that will always be the case no matter what system we have. If we are ok with the “politicing” now I am sure we will be fine with it in a playoff system.

I think college football

has the greatest regular season in all of sports. I’m just really worried that a playoff will cheapen it rather drastically. It won’t happen immediately, but I’m certain that it will happen.

I don't understand that

how does a playoff change the regular season? If anything it makes it stronger, for example, all those “bubble” teams you have mentioned before would need to win and win big to make the playoffs. That would enhance it. Another thing is in 2009 when Iowa was 10-2, wouldn’t you like to see Iowa still have a chance to make the Championship game? To have Kinnick host a playoff game? That would be epic and exciting.

Also

why couldn’t there still be bowl games for the teams that didn’t make the playoffs? The NIT survives with the NCAA tournament. Teams could still play for bowl games .

I would much rather

have an argument about the #4 or #8 team than the #2 team.

And also, having a 4 or 8 team playoff should mean more quality matchups of teams from different conferences. I think that would be good.

Why is that?

Seriously, what is intrinsically different about arguing who is #4, and being dissatisfied with the answer, any different than arguing the same about #2? All you’ve done is push the argument down the food chain a step or two. But there is no substantive difference, you’re just more willing to accept this problem because it “feels” better.

So how'd BYU win it back in '84?

That seems even less likely now. And, I meant in comparison with the BCS or a ‘plus-one’ setup. If there was a full playoff system like FCS does that’d be even better in my book, but what we have now is worse than what it replaced.

To be honest, 6 teams holding it

and that poor LSU QB dropping it

we were ok with it

because that is all that was offered. Also, if we were ok with it, why then did it change to the BCS system? We wanted a match-up with the #1 and #2 teams. We didn’t always get that so that is why they went to the plus one.

We were never ok with it, nor did we accept it.

Yes.

Back then, we couldn’t see if anyone outside the top ten or 15 were any good.

The only way for dis-satisfied fans to show their anger would be to write letters or vote with their money.

And finally, nearly everything was based on reputation and voting by people who may or may not be paying attention. The current system still over-values those, but at least there is a tiny bit of other aspects in the mix.

The more I think of this matchup

the more pissed I get that we don’t have a playoff.

If you have not read the book, Death to the BCS, you should. Get the new revised edition. It will make you think about how fucked up the BCS really is.

I've got to say. I'm a little disappointed now that there's been a TD
I've been hoping for a 21-0 victory for the last half-quarter.
It's just...after all of this time...it feels wrong, dirty even, to have a TD
They felt guilty enough to miss the XP
Honestly, guys, we really need to get the *college* back into college football

Best game I’ve ever seen was Delaware at William & Mary in the 90s.

What we have now is semi-professional or farm teams for the NFL. That’s simply not right.

C'mon.
Nah, I'm serious.

Student-athletes… might be nice to actually see that be a widespread condition in college football again… the graduation rates at easy schools like LSU and Alabama are awful.

I'm not saying you're completely wrong,

but it isn’t going to happen because it doesn’t get TV ratings, it doesn’t put butts in seats, it doesn’t sell merch, and it would probably not look as good.

For instance, I notice the difference when I watch Iowa football and UNI football. Kinnick sells out, the Dome doesn’t very often.

Piggybacking on what Chazz said

I don’t see how it would’ve made this game less shitty if they were on the dean’s list.

I agree that a lot of corruption has really crept into college football (and basketball to an extent)

over the last 20-30 years as football has taken over as the national obsession and the $$$ has skyrocketed.
I don’t think it’s all so drastically different if we could just get all of the corrupting money flowing in a more transparent way.

So, I guess it’s #OCCUPYNCAAOFFICES or something.

Yep.

All it would require is for the NCAA or the College president’s to have some balls.

They don’t, so the “Big Game” rules all.

I can only imagine how angry you'd be

if Iowa was not trying to be a farm team for the NFL.

Missed PAT

just for good measure.

I’ve had enough. The game wasn’t fun or interesting. Good night all.

I'm just hopeful for really low ratings

for the game

What the Crap was that throw?
Vandy thinks Jefferson is

looking skittish.

Well, he isn't playing at home.
I think he is from New Orleans originally.
You think Vandy wins in Keokuk, right now?

Fuck no!

I don't think any QB could have looked good for LSU tonight

The pocket collapses on him immediately every time he drops back.

I think Aaron Rogers

would have shredded the Alabama defense

So is it National Champions* or National Champions?

It's BCS Champions, right?

There is no ‘National Champion’ or ‘NCAA Champion’ the last I remember.

NCAA Champions for football is

No Dak State.

You are correct

the NCAA doesn’t recognize a Football champion in what used to be be IA

Look, I know we're all Iowa homers

But the Hawks just didn’t deserve it this ye—oh, that’s a one. Carry on.

lol

at first I was like “WTF is he talking about?” then I got it.

The one with the question mark, for sure.
Maybe Alabama will hire KOK for their OC

Do you believe in MIRACLES?!

Thanks for being you, Nick.

/Asshole.

What an end to an awful college football season. Good riddance.
Awesome

Alabama and Minnesota are now linked in Sports Lore.

they are the only two teams to win a NC without winning their conference. Minnesota did it in 1936. Perhaps Hoya is onto something.

At a minimum

any playoff (or the BCS if it continues) ought to require that you must win your conference in order to be included in the bracket.

Absolutely.

I know I mentioned this before, but if you haven’t read the book Death to the BCS, you should. I was for a playoff before, that is why i got the book. It is an easy read and quick. I wont say more, but I recommend you get it. If you have a kindle, I will loan it to you, so you won’t even have to buy it.

I'm not sure I agree with that.

There will be years where the top two teams are in the Big Ten, or SEC, or maybe B12? Maybe even the Pac-12. Probably not the ACC or Big SunBEast.

the playoff isn't designed to pit the best teams against each other.

it is designed to crown a champion, which if you can’t win your conference, do you have any business being the champion?

unless of course you’re alabama.

And welcome to bracket creep

this is exactly how it starts

Does this mean

that Alabama will spend the next 40 years in obscurity, with nothing but their former glory to hang their hat on?

Screw not winning their conference - they didn't even win their DIVISION

I get the debate back and forth – it’s a spirited one – but I think Bama winning the title all on its own spits in the face of the regular season. LSU dominated the regular season, was No. 1 for basically the entire season, beat a large number of ranked teams, played an incredibly difficult schedule, beat both the Pac-12 and Big East champions, won their division, won their conference, and – oh yeah – won AT Alabama.

Their reward for playing (admittedly) awful on the last night of the season, after being No. 1 since early September? Fewer first place votes than No. 3 Oklahoma State. That’s absurd.

Hoya, you’re right – at a minimum, any playoff or BCS system should require that you win your conference in order to be in the tournament.

This thread...

Started with a bunch of friends, a few girls, alcohol, and football on the TV.

It ended with a crappy game, the booze and chicks long gone, and half a dozen guys having a circular argument.

So, basically, it was just like every Monday Night Football get-together I hosted in college.

You should write cliff notes
So I got to..
chicks long gone, and half a dozen guys having a circ…

And I was really afraid of what was coming next.

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