So, Adrian, what do you make of
Please, all questions go through my dog.
Wait, why did you bring a dog? Are you serious?
As a motherfucking heart attack.
What'd you name it?
I named him after my favorite reporter, so, Bark Morehouse.
Aw, thanks!
Just kidding, his name is Ace.
:-(
So, um...
Talk to the dog.
So "Ace."
arf
How do you think your master's going to treat Josh Nesbitt next month?
Ruff!
Told you the dog's smart.
You actually didn't tell me anything close to that.
Yes I did.
Okay sir.
And, pooch, what do you think of Paul Johnson as a worthy adversary?
(growls)
Haha, this is great.
Your thoughts on Jonathan Dwyer?
(pisses on the carpet)
Okay, this is ridiculous and unsanitary. I think I got urine on my shoes. Can we just stop this?
Fine. And I didn't train him to answer any of those questions. He just felt like barking and pissing.
Weird. So then, Adrian, your thoughts on Jon Dwyer?
(pisses on the carpet)
2 recs | 37 comments
Brilliant
I am looking forward to the one-handed, crushing shoulder tackles by AC on Nesbit while blocked, a la Austen Arnaud.
shada's revenge - December 8, 2009
Fantastic
Talk to my dog, Dawg.
ICHawk - December 8, 2009
When pitbulls are trained correctly...
…they are absolutely awesome animals. Unfortunately, very few people know how to train pitbulls. Cute puppies, though.
tyger1147 - December 8, 2009
I am a cold-hearted, cynical, unsentimental bastard
and even I can’t help but think “Awww, that puppy is so cute!”
And Tyger is right, a properly-trained pit bull is one of the most amazing animals in the world, so friendly and loyal. I hope AC does right by this dog (i.e. train it to ONLY attack cab drivers. Too soon?).
HoyaGoon - December 8, 2009
On a related note
Did anyone happen to read the SI issue a year or so ago about the surviving Bad Newz Kennels dogs that were adopted by families around the US? If you’re into touching stories about adorable pit bulls, it’s pretty great.
Smokin Herb Grigsby - December 8, 2009
What about stalkers?
Have to train it to attack stalkers, right?
MissouriHawk - December 8, 2009
Alternatively, perhaps the dog is being trained to catch panties
A good player will be prepared for all situations.
Leftcoast Hawk - December 8, 2009
+1
for ‘panties’
Gustav - December 8, 2009
Well, that's great.
Because nothing bad ever happens when Hawkeye defensive linemen buy pit bulls.
http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/news/story?id=2771566
WaterlooChazz - December 9, 2009
Is anyone else...
wondering why Clayborn hasn’t had that dog’s claws clipped yet? Probably not dog fighting, right? Right?
WaterlooChazz - December 9, 2009
Agreed
My parents have 1 full grown and 2 puppies and those puppies would be lost without having all the kids around to play with. They rescued the full grown from an abusive family, and it took her (its a female) almost 2 years before she warmed up to anyone but my dad.
BStylin Hawkye - December 8, 2009
Pretty sure
he’s the only one on this team that is capable of looking MORE menacing holding a puppy on a leash. Jus’ sayin.
TAMPAHAWK - December 8, 2009
Congratulations, Marc!!!
You’ve arrived!
Bucketochicken - December 8, 2009
I'm working "iconmarcmo.jpg" into every ridiculous post I write from here on out.
Patrick Vint - December 8, 2009
Little known fact:
Adrian Clayborn keeps the dog around for crowd control – if a reporter gets too close the dog will intercede so AC doesn’t bite his/her/Pam Ward’s head off.
Ioweegin - December 8, 2009
This made me lol.
Mainly because Pam Ward is given a generic gender assignment.
MissouriHawk - December 8, 2009
my gf refuses to acknowledge her as a member of the snatch club
and she’s got a vote on the board of directors, so its pretty official…
AcrimoniousAngerererer - December 8, 2009
She is? Wow, she has my condolences
Must be nigh-impossible to understand Brad Pitt at those meetings.
With Ferentz Like These... - December 8, 2009
The first rule of Snatch Club
is you do not talk about Snatch Club.
Mogwai - December 8, 2009 via mobile
mumble mumble caravan
mumble mumble ass or crotch?
rockyh - December 8, 2009
Sorry guys, but Adrian won't be blocked much
Mr. Clayborn will no doubt have ample opportunity to lay wood to Josh Nesbitt, but he won’t be fighting through blocks to do it. Most of the time when Nesbitt runs the ball, GT leaves the playside DE unblocked and the QB pitches as he gets hit, or ducks upfield if the DE chooses to play the pitch.
Tech’s left tackle weighs 250, and generally spends his time blocking linebackers and safeties. The right tackle is a third-stringer because of injuries (although the 280-lb. first-string guy MIGHT be back), so Tech tends to run left. Neither of them does much blocking against DEs, except for the rare pass play.
When Clayborn DOES get blocked, it’ll probably involve a slotback diving at his shins.
Golden Hand - December 8, 2009
Why are you telling us Adrian won’t be blocked much and acting like it’s something we don’t know?
You could maybe try to block him, but he’ll fucking murder your ass.
SpanishJohnny - December 8, 2009
fine
AC will just play DE, LB, and Safety all at the same time.
KentuckyThunderPussy - December 8, 2009
Live by the sword, die by the sword.
Bucketochicken - December 8, 2009
Point taken
Just sayin’, Tech won’t try to block him. Mostly because they’re ascared of that puppy.
Golden Hand - December 8, 2009
Woo?
Clayborn is Woo?
everloyal - December 8, 2009
Exclusive: behind-the-scenes photo of Clayborn and his dog
Brock Sampson - December 8, 2009
MAUAJI!
Adam Jacobi - December 8, 2009
thatsracist.gif
rockyh - December 9, 2009
Greatly offended . . .
I took years and years of “dog” in high school and college. I speak it fluently. I’ve even mastered the “dawg” dialect.
Still, half the time I don’t know what Angerer is talking about.
MarcMorehouse - December 8, 2009
is that because
you don’t have any jail tats?? pretty sure Pat can hook you up
Gustav - December 8, 2009
Pat Angerer operates on a higher plane of existants than any of us could ever hope to reach
I consider him to be my mentor and spiritual adviser, but I must confess to being confused by his words at time too. There are some things we mortals were not meant to understand. Such is life.
NorseHawk - December 8, 2009
existance, rather
NorseHawk - December 8, 2009
shit that's wrong too
Existence
Whatever, fuck spelling, the point is Pat Angerer rules
NorseHawk - December 8, 2009
To know the path, you must walk the path
Just watch the first Matrix movie and you’ll understand.
Leftcoast Hawk - December 8, 2009
Ace and Cash need to meet and form a canine crime-fighting duo
Or just sniff each other’s balls.
Whichever.
Bucketochicken - December 8, 2009
Speaking of balls
Totally kid and work safe, with a high “Awwwwww” factor.
http://vimeo.com/7978890
Leftcoast Hawk - December 9, 2009
You must Login with your SB Nation account and be a member of Black Heart Gold Pants to post a comment.